Thursday, January 10, 2008 | 10:28 PM |

1st 0f all.. i wld like t0 thank Rahima , Prabz and Nazirah (tts me!) f0r being there f0r me..

2nd, i've l0st s0me0ne very dear t0 me.. and i dun wish t0 talk abt it.. and i thank Prabz and Ai Li for hearing me out n being there even without talking abt it to me.

3rd... ASAN, i really wan u back.. ASAP...



aiyah.. like expected, i n0e he'll say, he cant cum 0n the day he said.. i got upset and eventually talked straight into his face.. which upset-ed him.. im suppose t0 understand the reas0n why hes delaying.. but i didnt. he had some last moments things to do.. if he gets it done, he'll have a bit of higher chances of getting a job here. aiyah..

he was telling me to be patient and all.. booo.. i shall jus wait for him to return n get him explain some stuffs to me..



i n0e that n0 matter wh0 i g0 c0nfide with, n0ne will be like my Prabz. seri0usly speaking, hes the best. frm day 1, he has nv sp00n fed me but MADE me think.

th0ugh i've asked and told Rahima abt my pr0blems, basically, she'll supp0rt me n blame the 0ther party. well, cant blame her th0ugh.. she cares abt me and wans the best f0r me. s0 yea..
i n0e the 0ther day, Asan said smth s0 sarcastically abt u.. i've sc0lded him 0n the sp0t itself. wh0 is he t0 sc0ld u anyway? any relati0nship between u and him? n0. s0 wad rights he get? tt was the last time he ever said th0se kinda things.. tts past. i n0e it hurts u.. it wld hurt me t00.. but i wldnt care abt it. c0s he d0esnt n0e me. n he t0ks like tt.. why shld i b0ther. fuck it. carry 0n in life.

but den different ppl hv different thinking.

thanks for saying everything tt day.. it helped me.. can see tt u really really really care abt me.. thanks ma..

end of the day.. i'll still go back to prabz n confide in him. he noes why i go l00king high n low f0r him... so he noes n i noe den ok edi..

Humans cant accept certain things. always deny or pretend nth happen.

i put wadever Rahima said and Prabz said. and it was all in my mind. and seriously i was going crazy... wen i was chatting with Prabz, instead of helping me get out of craziness.. he made me think.. wallau.. not tt he made things difficult for me.. he made me realise tt its all in one's mindset. i can get out of the problems, IF i wan to. but everytime i chose not to.

thanks da.

frankly speaking, no one can be this understanding like u're. i've few close frens. and i've a bf. all came frm different backgrnd, including u n me. all have their own way of solving problems. but its always us who has the same way. frm thinking, to the food we like, to the things we're doing, to the way we scold/ bully others.

haha. i rmb, wen i was talking to u yday, i was rubbing my right eye. damn pain n itchy at the same time. finally i said tt loud. and u said u were rubbing ur right eye too. haha.. coincidence or wad. but if we both are siblings.. confirm everyday got debate.. haha..


heng ah....



u're a nice fella la.. can see things in my point of view.. agree watever i say as it made sense.. but my bf.. always say im wrong.. n wenever he corrects me.. he seemed damn correct. and i'd be wondering why i nv think like tt..

in the end...

asan is gd in his ways.. and prabz is gd in his.. i duno hw to differentiate both. i need both in my life.

love is different frm friendship.

Prabz, time isnt right for u at the moment. be patient. drift away ppl u dun need in life. some can be damn useless.. i used to have 1000 over frens in my friendster. now, i've a handful. i dun need useless peeps. all those in my frenster are my sec sch frens n polymates and prabz n rahima n bros and sis in law. no one else. i chose my peeps. i dun wish to see u sulking n frowning and accepting all the blames u can accept. wheres the man in u.. if a gal does smth wrong, screw her. i mean scold her. let her realise her mistake. i learnt tt frm my dad n asan.

theres 5 men important in my life.
Dad
1st bro
2nd bro
Asan & Prabz

without these peeps i wont be who i am now. i have every bit of their character in me. the reason for me to tok maturedly is cos of Asan. he who taught me hw to get on with live and be patient like a gal.

those who noes me, noes very well, tt im NOT patient. but now, i am.. too bad stubborness is there.. wahaha..

basically today whole day, i was spending my time with prabz on the fone.. my dear one has passed away.. terrible blow to me.. haiz... this pig was worried abt me wen i was worried abt him..


i didnt like her wen u 1st 1st told me abt ur gal. i became damn pissed with her, wen she didnt allow u to visit me in hospital. but u did came.. rmb eating chicken rice with u and my KK hospital sexy uniform. lol. i was naked. hahahahhaaaaaaaa! i mean, i didnt wear anyting inside. not suppose to. hehehe.. lucky u didnt rape me.. hehe!

but i made myself like her jus cos u liked her. but i didnt tell u ah.. if u rmb, i wldnt like u talking abt her to me.. but ever since i made myself like her, wenever u tok abt her, i speak in behalf of her, rmb? like give her a chance. go tok to her. i put myself in her shoes. and guess why she behaving like tt..

i respect ur decision.. i aint someone great or older to tell u to do this n tt.. but i can suggest tt u can do this n tt. maybe hear u out n advise u..

speaking of hearing u out.. TODAY, 10TH JANUARY 2008 is the 1st time in 3 yrs, i've let u tok n i kept quiet. its always me who wld be yaking away and u listening to me. today it was u.. FINALLY..

hehe..

anyway, tk things slowly.. nv hurt ppl da.. i got hurt b4.. u got hurt b4.. we can overcome it. diff ppl overcome in their own way. nv allow ppl be sad cos of u.. im glad tt i made u smile here n there.. i noe tt u will still be thinking abt everything again...

jus dun be hard on urself..








booo.. im tired.. i wanna blog abt school.. den.. im slpy.. haha.. i need to visit my dear one tmr.. i miss her badly.. i wan her back.. but i've to be realistic. haiz...

god bless her and love her.





♥ TrappedButterfly