Theres lotsa stuffs to update.. there are complains, sorr0ws and s0me 0ther stuff which falls under dun0-what caterg0ry.
Im g0nna with smth I hate the m0st. Anuar.
A malay guy in my class this sem. His been my classmate b4.. but we dun tok or even sit near each other. Like me, he has his clique.. but amazing, on the last day of maths class last sem, he came forward t0 me n Ai Li t0 visit his b00th in sch00l, 0n a Saturday.. smth like supp0rting him. it was jus a smile and t0k and refused his invitati0n, as it was a Saturday.. s0 tts wen all started. Argh..
This sem, 1st day 0f sch00l, I bumped int0 him at the lift l0bby.. he asked wad I was having and which level. Blur as usual in the early m0rning.. said a class.. n he said, “PEEM?” and I n0dded.. we t00k the same lift t0gether. He t0ked n t0ked n t0ked n t0ked till we reached class. The lecturer wasn’t there yet, s0 had t0 wait 0utside. And he c0ntinued his t0king. Frankly speaking, I had n0 idea wad he was saying.. all I did was, n0d and smile n0w n den. Wen I entered the class, i sat further away frm him. he was expecting me t0 sit beside me.. (fat h0pes) s00n Shi Mei, Ai Li ‘best fren’.. Wahaha, came n sat beside me. shes much m0re better den tt Anuar. Lucky f0r me Eezah was in the class.. t0gether with J0n.. weeeeee! Tts hw my friendship started with Anuar. Theres an0ther gal, Shila.. been my classmates f0r m0st 0f the sem and m0dules, we clicked immediately..
Aft tt less0n, we 3 wen t0 the next class t0gether. Anuar, Shila n me.. and while t0king t0king.. I rmb saying, “ sia la.. I regret kn0wing u laaa” t0 Anuar f0r fun.. was like a j0ke.. and n0w, im seri0us abt it..
: I regret kn0wing u :
S00n I dun0 wad happen t0 him sia.. lecturer will be t0king infr0nt, and he’ll be l00king at me.. he’ll make sure, I sit beside him.. if n0t he’ll c0me n sit beside me.. there was 0nce, he and I t0gether with 2 chinese classmates 0f ours went SIM t0 eat.. and he INSISTED t0 sit beside me.. and den half way eating, he asked me, “ Naz, u wan t0 try s0me? “ I was like.. err.. its 0k..im full..
Wth.. I complained t0 b0yy.. I t0ld him this basket tis s0 damn irritating.. he even made me dig up my past.. he asked me abt my family.. and my feelings n t0ts..
B0yy was unhappy as Anuar was asking unrelated stuffs.. I mean, why d0 u wan t0 n0e s0 much abt a n0rmal fren.. 0k la.. np in tt.. jus he basic stuff.. n0t why u br0ke 0ff.. why u wearing blue why this why tt.. damn la..
I was s000000 pissed and sick tt 0ne day, he sat beside me and was asking me why I nv t0k t0 him.. why I s0 m00dy.. PMS ah? I jus stared at him and asked, “ why u b0red la.. jus shut up la” den he g0t pissed.. he said, “ jus asking 0nli rite.. im jus ur c0ncern fren..” MY F00T LA..
Den D0m and shila entered the class.. they sat behind me as tt basket was sitting beside me… argh..
Den suddenly Shila asked, “Naz u ok? U usually the hyper type.. why s0 quiet t0day..” I said, “ sick la.. dun0 why g0t fever.. “ den Anuar wh0 was beside me, MSNed me.. asking if saw the d0c. L0L! scared t0 t0k face t0 face??? Haahahahahahaaaaa.. den I PM Dom.. and was c0mplaining n j0king with him.. Anuar kept l00king at my screen. JEAL0US CAN BE SENSEEEEED!
Again complain t0 b0yy.. he was super furi0us.. he t0ld me t0 tell my clique t0 m0ve away.. and n0ne 0f dem knew tt this fella is behaving like tt.. till I c0mplained t0 Xiang Ling.. she was like.. ahhhh.. I didn’t n0e tt.. den the next day, shila and d0m g0t t0 n0e.. and s00n, they hated him t00.. haha! thx guys!!
They 0s0 realise tt, tt basket was eyeing 0n me.. he even g0t pissed 0ff wen I sat I wanna sit wit Shila and the rest. Hahahaaaaaa! G00000000000dddddd! AVOID!
Dun0 if he realize I was avoiding him.. his stupid enuff t0 realise la.. s0 why b0ther.. yay! Finally this ting is 0ff my heart!
Thx t0 my bl0g! =)
next thing is… I n boyy had a debate 0n wh0 is m0re stressful. Wad the hell..
he is physically stressed.. need to hand in his assignments.. wire this n tt.. carry this n tt.. I was mentally stressed.. teach this n tt.. lotsa stuff in my head. Teach this boy this.. tt gal tt.. wah damn.. and in the end.. I won!
S00n I’ll be d0wn with dun0 wad sickness la..
Everyday aft sch00l, reach 0ff t0 tuition.. its all abt tuition!!!! Arrrrghhhhhhhh
N0 time f0r anyting.. need t0 pay sch00l feeeeeeeees! Aiy000000000..
$1650!!! Where t0 get s0 much m0ney???? I earn arnd $1k per mth. Alhamduillah.. den the remaining? B0yy will give me some.. dad gives me some.. dad’s CPF is n0t enuff. My br0’s knee OP.. my OP.. his OP.. are were paid by his CPF.. s0 n0t enuff edi.. n0 ch0ice sia.. have t0 pay by my 0wn.. lucky I n0 car.. if n0t c0nfirm die..
T0day was s0.. aiy00000000!! S0 many tuiti0nsssssss!!!! Rush here n there.. boyy c0mplained tt I nv meet him.. few Sundays 0s0 meet.. den t0day h0liday 0s0 nv meet. He was kinda unhappy.. he’ll c0me t0 wherever I am t0 see me.. th0ugh m0st 0f the times, I w0nt n0e hes there.. c0s I’d be s0 damn busy.. I mean in sch00l.. he’ll dr0p by t0 see me.. infact, admire me. haha. den he’ll call me saying I l00k s0 cute getting pissed 0ff.. I’ll be l00king arnd.. n he’ll say, he jus left.. cld at least hv asked me t0 c0me 0ut the class rite.. I n0 need t0 see him is it.. den he said, “ I’ll die if I dun t0k t0 u n see u.. “ den me wad? I’ll survive ah.. u n0e hw much I l0ng t0 see him? den t0day.. I saw him!! =)
F0r 30mins. Haha!
I was rushing 0ff t0 the next tuiti0n wen I literally bumped int0 him. he n0es where I’d be g0ing everything.. den he f0rced me t0 hv lunch with him.. haha.. u n0e wad.. wen I bumped int0 him.. and l00ked up at the pers0n I bump, I saw him.. I was den 3 steps away frm him.. and I dr0pped my b00ks tt I was carrying and hugged him.. was there in his arms f0r like 40 secs? I refused t0 let g0.. u n0e hw nice it was.. I t0tally f0rget all the stress n everything tt was in my mind.. den he whispered in my ears, “ baby, lets g0 eat..” man, u shld see me smiling ear t0 ear wen he said tt.. he t00k my b00ks and held my hands and we went jur0ng west and ate.. at the c0ffee sh0p beside my tuiti0n place.. I was super damn happy.. =) thx b0yy ma..
Den aft tt, i had t0 leave.. he said, he’ll wait 1 1/2hr f0r me t0 finish my tuiti0n.. den will f0ll0w me t0 next tuiti0n.. p00r fella la.. came all the way t0 see me.. =)
Den I said, d0wan..ltr b0ring.. asked him t0 c0me up t0 the hse, he said d0wan.. he teaches the kids music.. n I teach tuiti0n.. s0 the family n0es us.. I f0rce him t0 leave.. pitiful t0 see him waiting la.. den luckily, his br0 called him saying they gg f0r m0vie n f0rced him t0 c0me.. he was cursing the br0 and was grumbling t0 me.. “see, u asked f0r it.. n0w I need t0 g0.. I wanna see u n spend time 0s0 cann0t.. tuiti0n tuiti0n tuiti0n.. “ haha.. he was grumbling in a cute way.. n0t the angry way… he was sitting n I was standing.. s0 I bend f0rward, whispered in his ears, “ im really really happy tt I’m with u f0r 30 mins.. its m0re den I can ask f0r.. thx baby “ n0w u shld see him grinning.. haha.. cute la he..
Aft tuiti0n, its gg h0me timeeeee! Yay! I s0mehw missed the lakeside mrt bus stop.. and I ended up in b00n lay interchange.. aiy00.. but.. it was gd in a way.. wen I see the bus I always tk t0 sec sch00l, I had l0tsa t0ts.. mem0ries all running in my mind.. the r0ad which the bus usually g0.. the mrt stati0n.. the c0ntr0l stati0n where 0ne staff had an eye 0n me.. the escalat0r.. the train.. the peanut smell in tt area and everything… haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!
I miss my sec sch00l.. hw I was.. things I did.. my frens.. I felt like crying sia… msged b0yy.. he said, it happens.. we hv t0 m0ve 0n.. he said, wen I grad frm NP, I’ll feel the same.. its always like tt.. sch00l days are always fun.. till we start wrking.. I d0wan t0 wrk siaaaaa.. dun mind studying n getting stressed up.. haizzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!
Reached h0me.. saw Zakiyah 0nline.. felt super damn sad.. she didn’t n0e my situati0n and jus let 0ut her c0ncerns.. same g0es t0 ima.. cant blame dem..
They dun0 tt, s0me days, I dun t0k t0 b0yy at all.. c0s I’ll be dead tired by the time I c0me h0me and I dun get t0 meet him m0st 0f the times.. they said I’ve changed.. t0 wad? And they think its c0s 0f b0yy tt I’ve changed.. 
I changed? Yea I did.. i’ve s0 much 0f pr0jects n tuiti0n tt I dun hv time f0r myself.. and I’ve n0t been t0king much t0 family n frens.. 0nli t0 sch00l frens as I see dem everyday.. im s0 stressed..
And th0se 2.. said hurting stuffs.. I dun hv time t0 think abt my present, hw am I t0 think abt my future? I dun t0k t0 b0y 0r meet him much.. jus sms..
He understands tt im busy with my wrk.. but th0se 2? 0ne is my future sis in law, an0ther is 0ne wh0m I treat as if shes my real little sis.. and she was harsh f0r the past few days.. the way she t0ked n answered me was like she was slapping my face.. hurting la.. but, I cant say anyting.. c0s they dun0 wad im g0ing thru.. this 0bvi0usly g0t nth t0 d0 with b0yy.. but they tink its c0s 0f him.. u 2 n0e smth.. the way u tinking and caring n all is jus like him.. u 3 behave the same.. asking why I changed s0 much… why im s0 busy n stuffs..
Haiz..
T0 the 2… I r0ughly n0e hws my future is it.. n0w due t0 my busy schedule.. I dun feel his l0ve.. I feel his care n c0ncern.. l0ve is there.. its hidden.. he 0ften msg me, asking me t0 eat.. asking me pray.. this n tt.. he calls me during my breaks.. 12 to 1pm.. smtimes he wont, cos he’ll be busy.. 
we once compromised tt, we’ll be there for each other.. and wen I asked wad if my hubby dun allow me toking to him.. n he said, its ok.. I’ll still be there, praying for u.. though smtimes, I’ll stalk u. haha.. u’re my 1st ever true love. U changed me so much.. u made me realize wads life is.. u made me pray.. I wont like u go.. and he promised..
He w0nt break his pr0mise tts f0r sure.. =)
He said, even if I left him angrily or smth, he’ll still be there somewhere caring for me.. he said, he noes this wont happen.. and he said, I’ll be there till the end.. even if the wife or my husband is there.
And those 2 said, its nice to hear, but will it happen.. well.. boyy said, we’ll prove everyone tt we can.. so yea.. ever since our br0ke 0ff.. we didn’t fight.. onli 0nce.. tts wen my sis n b0yy f0ught.. haiz..
T00 late t0 amend tt.. hmm..
He said, aft my mom, its u.. den my wife.. u’re my 1st wife.. u’re my everything den my wife.. im jus giving her life since my mom forced me t0 marry her .. but my t0ts.. and everything will be with u.. den I argued saying.. cann0t la.. ur wife will be jeal0us n all.. he said, she cant say anyting.. and she wldnt n0e.. I’ll still g0 0ut with u.. with 0r with0ut my wife.. m0stly it’ll be with0ut my wife.. haha.. den I said, nice t0 hear la.. make it happen.. he said he’d. lets see.. I’ve trust in him.. at the same time.. kinda funny.. wen hes married, he still wans to be with me..
And I t0ld him, if my parents find me s0me0ne 0r I find s0me0ne, bef0re I agree t0 tt man, I’ll be asking b0yy al0ng and if he appr0ves, I’d say 0k.. c0s b0yy n0es wads gd f0r me.. seri0usly, I’ve l0st the m00d 0f l0ving.. b0yy wants me t0 get s0me0ne.. wans me t0 carry 0n with life. He d0esnt wan t0 see me single n he married.. he said its hurting him al0t.. haiz..
L00k at my state n0w la.. haiz.. everything I dreamt 0f, has bec0me dreams.. haha.. G0d is great.. my life’s with g0d n0w.. He’ll lead my path..
Any0ne 0f my frens, wanna t0k bad, 0r say I’ve changed and all.. g0 ahead.. c0s this is jus the t0p layer 0f wad im g0ing thru.. I still cant explain the r00ts.. I still cant explain hw I feel.. I really wan a break.. if th0se 2 cant understand me.. wh0 can? B0yy wh0 came like 1 yr n 7 mths b4, n0es me in and 0ut.. why cant u 2.. wh0m I n0e f0r at least m0re den 2 yrs?
Haiz.. u guys hurt me al0t.. but im n0t g0nna blame u f0r tis. All I can say is, “ this is hw much u n0e abt it.. “ its 0k.. it happens..
Thx f0r being there and caring f0r me..
tts him..
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