Saturday, September 12, 2009 | 12:03 AM | 0 Comments

21st sept 2009.

2nd day of raya.

3 yrs anniversary.

hmm.

mom has invited him on tt day.

but.

he wants to go out with me on tt day.

how.








im scared.

december is nearing.

i wanna go away.

draw a line.

stop meeting him often.

stop toking too much.

i cant.

he cant.

the feeling is so.

haiz.

again back to square 1.

we've been thru this.

again.

and.

again.

been thru all the cryings.

and we get back together.

den.

prob arise.

cry again.

haiz.

2 days ago.

i was crying to him.

that.

my parents.

want me to marry off faster.

so that.

my 2nd bro and rahima.

can take my room.

its like im so unwanted.

if not.

they want to get a 5 room flat.

and i've to pay them monthly $500.

for staying in the room.

am i a tenant?

i duno what they thinking.

sometimes.

they're super nice.

sometimes.

they're like this.

what can i do.

i call him.

i cried.

told him.

i got no one.

even he is going away.

first.

i got scolded by him for crying.

second.

he said he'll be there forever.

and i said.

my bro.

who we tot, he wldnt change aft marriage.

is change.

wldnt u change after marriage?

your promises all will turn down?

he said no.

he said he loves me alot.

and i cried again.

what to do.

i've tried my best.

i let him go.

but he came back.



i feel like screaming my head off.

been thru this so many times.

but still cant solve the prob.





i pray to god everyday.

ask Him to give me the permission to be with Boyy.

till the end.


i still haven get the answers yet.

yes or no.

if no.

i want to know whos there for me.


haiz.

i've to be patient.

but for nw.

B0yy's my life.


part of me.

haiz.






Asan Gani.

i love you.





♥ TrappedButterfly