Day 5 at w0rk..
I had a w0nderful dream.. and its t00 l0ng t0 write here.. its actually, Rahima n me are Sec0ndary sch00l teachers.. im pregnant and she has a little b0y.. and my husband, Prince, he jus came back frm L0nd0n aft his sh0w.. den the c0ming Saturday, there was a reunion at elder br0’s hse.. it was for Lunch and Dinner.. and all the siblings and their family were invited.. elder br0 had a daughter.. n Machi was pregnant with her 2nd.. m0m n dad were staying at br0’s hse.. 2nd br0 and Rahima were there with their s0n.. and I and Prince were there.. I was expecting with my 1st.. haha.. den we had fun and we ate.. den Rahima and I went t0 fetch my little br0, wh0 was in sec0ndary sch00l hahahaha! And I was driving a White MAZDA 3 SPEED!
And he had a gal walking with him.. dun0 wh0s she.. haha.. Rahima n I were behaving like hw we are behaving n0w.. make fun, laugh, bully, etc.. haha.. aiy00.. den we were back t0 br0’s hse f0r dinner.. den Aziz wanted t0 stay in my hse.. he has a r00m in each hse.. br0’s , 2nd br0’s and mine.. lucky fella.. and I teach him wenever he’s 0ver at my hse.. n Rahima teaches him wen hes at hers and elder br0 teaches in his.. and Aziz was a very hands0me, clever, popular kid.. l0lx.. den suddenly the scene changed int0 0ffice r00m.. but den 0n my table the was a thick file.. inside g0t applications.. I l00ked carefully, it was the file, I’ve t0 key in t0 MS Excel! My Current J0b! ARRGGHHHHHHHH! Den I w0ke up.. aiy0000000000
I went t0 w0rk.. this time n0b0dy were walking with me.. I felt smth missing and I felt happy 0s0.. den I came int0 the 0ffice.. Amir and Fir and Parthi with the 0thers were at the meeting.. n0 w0nder.. s0 wen they came 0ut all said hiiiiiiiiiiiii t0 meeeeeeeeeeeee…
I started with my wrk, j0ining in t0 the j0kes and everything tt was gg 0n.. den arnd 12 plus, Amir and Fir wen f0r prayers.. i asked Rahima t0 call me.. n den t0ld her abt my dream.. waaaaah.. she was damn excited abt it.. haha.. den Parthi, guess he was b0red.. he b0ught lunch and aft eating, he came disturbing me.. he was dancing, spinning and everyting.. like l00su.. guess he realized tt I was paying attenti0n t0 him.. he left aft he g0t a call.. L0Lx.. wen I went back t0 0ffice, I asked why he left me al0ne.. n he said, “ Lao pan (boss) wanted t0 see me.. “
I managed t0 finish Ulu Pandan’s Constituency.. I’ve t0 start with Buona Vista.. but I was s0000000000 lazy.. t0t 0f d0ing tt 0n m0nday.. s0 I rested f0r 2 hrs.. chatting with every0ne there.. and Amir and I argued and fight 0ver smth.. f0r fun.. and few supp0rted me.. and few supp0rted him.. l0lx.. like br0ther-sister arguing..
And at the end 0f the day, I had my 3 r0me0s t0 acc0mpany me t0 MRT.. =)
And at nite, my darlz called.. and he asked hws my hands0me guy.. haha.. and I said, man hes h0t! and tt l00su g0t jeal0us.. l0lx.. den I t0ld him wadever happen.. and he in return he gave me sad news..
Hes g0ing back t0 his Village and will be there till Raya.. 0k tts gd news.. but.. the bad news is, his m0m is trying get him married.. his m0m is sick.. and shes 0k n0w la.. but shes 0ld.. hes the last s0n.. and she wants t0 see him married b4 she dies.. and Prince keep saying nth will happen to her n stuff.. and he d0esnt want t0 get married t0 tt gal, hes m0m 0redi decide.. tt gal, shes 0nli 17.. tis fella is 27.. paavam la tt gal.. t00 y0ung.. but wad t0 d0.. INDIA WHAT! And hes refusing his m0m, jus c0s hes in l0ve with me.. and he t0ld me b4 tt his m0m d0esnt like Singap0re gals.. VERY different frm India gals..
Weneva Prince calls h0me, m0m will t0k abt marriage.. and he cant tk it if he d0esnt get me and if I get hurt.. s0 he.. keep refusing n stuffs..
N0w the bad news is.. he d0esnt n0e wads g0nna happen wen he gets t0 his village.. his m0m can f0rce him t0 get married.. can d0 al0t 0f things la.. and he says hes very w0rried tt wad if he d0esnt get me.. and 0ver the f0ne wen he t0ked recently, he t0ld his m0m tt, he’ll be convenient f0r him if he gets a spore gal as he’ll be in spore n stuff… and the m0m screamed in the f0ne tt, if he wanna marry a sporean, tt wld be aft her death..
And Prince asking me.. wad am I t0 d0 ma.. m0m saying like tt.. den he said, he’ll pr0mise he’ll fight f0r me.. and he’ll stand firm 0n his decisi0n..
Im the type, wh0 d0esnt like ppl arnd me getting hurt.. s0 I t0ld him.. since im being an 0bstacle, and c0s 0f me, ur m0m will cry and get hurt.. and seeing her cry, u’ll cry.. and imagine tt 17 yr 0ld kid wh0 they arrange t0 burden u with, hw she’ll feel la.. she c0nfirm by n0w, wld hv liked u by seeing ur f0t0 and all.. c0nfirm gr0w aasai edi.. hw wld she feel if u 0r s0me0ne g0 and tell her tt, s0rry, we 0redi find an0ther p0nnu? She’ll tink tt she g0t a k0rai with herself and wad if she d0es smth stupid.. shes n0t a singap0rean.. shes a 00ru p0nnu frm village s0mem0re.. if in the end, if u really have n0 ch0ice.. pls, give up the l0ve u hv 0n me.. dun make any0ne hurt.. if u make me hurt nvm.. tt will stay with me.. and im wise enuff n0t t0 d0 anyting stupid.. 0f c0s, u’ll be my best fren.. u’ll be s0me0ne wh0 n0es me in and 0ut.. and 0f c0s, if I happen t0 change my number, I’ll give it t0 u.. and 0f c0s, if u publish an album, I’ll always be the 1st in th queue t0 buy it.. ( I heard him sniffing.. like he was crying.. )
I n0e he d0esnt wan t0 l0se me.. I t0ld him t0 be brave.. and t0uch w00d, if it happens tt we’re n0t t0gether and u’re w0rrying if im happy 0r wad.. I said, jus ask urself, are u happy 0r sad.. if u’re happy, den im 0s0 very happy.. happier den u.. if u’re sad.. I might be crying.. so depends all on u..
And he says he doesn’t wan to tink tt we’re not made for each other..
Haiz… haiz.. haiz..
I sad la.. wad if I dun get him.. hw will I be.. now edi, I tink of him everyday.. every second hes living in me.. den hw.. wad will happen to me? will I get mad? Im trying to tink positive tt the mom will agree.. but I cant help it.. wad if she doesn’t.. wat if fate plays basket ball in my life? I’ll jus pray everything g0es acc0rding t0 hw I’ve dreamt.. if it d0esnt, g0d’s great.. he’ll lead me t0 a better path…
Upset..
Day 4 at w0rk
Maarning, as usual, alighted at BV.. and c0me 0ut the stati0n and was g0ing d0wn the escalat0r when s0me0ne was calling 0ut, “Aunty!! Aunty!! Aunty!!” I was in a slpy m00d and I t0t f0r a sec0nd if im an aunty and c0nfirmed myself tt I wasn’t, s0 I didn’t b0ther t0 l00k arnd.. I was guessing, s0me Aunty dr0pped her gr0ceries 0r wallet 0r wadever la.. s0 I didn’t turn..
Dun0 why since I started this j0b.. every m0rning, I’ll be a Z0mbie.. until s0me t0ks t0 me.. weird but true.
The v0ice was c0ming cl0se t0 me.. but still I didn’t turn.. pr0blem.. l0lx.. den suddenly, “Aunty u dr0pped this” s0me0ne said t0 me.. I didn’t l00k at tt pers0n, but was l00king at wad he was handing 0ut t0 me..
Its my CC’s Staff pass..
Th0ugh im a z0mbie in the m0rning, my brain still functi0ns.. s0, I was like.. eh, I where g0t pass.. den I l00ked at the pers0n, it was Firdaus.. 0MG! damn embarrassing.. I l00ked arnd.. few were l00king at me.. and I smiled f00lishly.. and I didn’t see the escalat0r’s end was c0ming.. and I wld hv fall if Fir didn’t h0ld my arm..
And I was t0king t0 him in half whisper and half paiseh feeling.. “why d0 u hv t0 call me aunty and den make a scene.. paiseh u n0e!” All he did was laugh.. I was like.. WTF.. I jus walked infr0nt 0f him.. I wasn’t angry.. c0s I was still in the m00d 0f slping.. and I felt kinda paiseh 0s0.. I jus didn’t hv m00d t0 j0ke 0r get angry 0r whatever.. I wasn’t in the m00d 0f t0king! U n0e wen u wake up.. u dun feel like t0king.. like tt la.. den he run aft me and said s0rry s0rry.. playing with u ma.. I dun hv ur number, if n0t I’ll call u and tell u t0 wait up f0r me.. 0r if I see u, instead 0f calling 0ut ur name 0r aunty.. I can jus call u wad ma..
And tt is wen, I g0t super pissed.. jus c0s he called me “ma”…
I jus st0pped at my tracks and l00ked at him n said in a whisper and angry t0ne.. “Dun call me MA, understand???????” den I started walking.. he came aft me and asked.. “why u getting angry? I cant call u ma? Den call u wad, di? Da? Dei? Oi?”
And I replied, “ I g0 by a name called Nazirah.. u can call me tt..” and he laughed.. I jus stare at him f0r few sec0nds.. ( all this happen while walking t0 the CC ) and he said, “ haha… I n0e u’re pissed with me f0r calling u tt.. and u really can t0k back t0 s0me0ne ah.. funny and cute la.. “
Wah man.. I pissed edi la.. I said, “ my guy, d0esnt call me by my name.. he calls me MA.. wen I call him, the next w0rd aft “HELLO” wld be “MA”.. 0nli wens hes pissed with me f0r s0me reas0n, den 0nli he’ll say my name.. get it? St0p calling me tt.. and I t0ld u edi, im attached.. if u’ve s0me reas0n f0r ur friendliness t0wards me, jus end it here.. jus c0s im 0ne 0f ur colleagues, im jus keeping quiet.. c0s I’ve t0 wrk in the same envir0nment.. if u’re n0t, den tts a different st0ry.. “
I seri0usly felt s0 much better aft saying tt.. and he said, “Dei.. why da.. dun be angry da.. I jus t0ld u frankly wadever I felt t0wards u… true I like u.. and I n0e u’re n0t g0ing t0 give in.. I dun0 hw t0 get rid the t0t 0f u.. tis will be the last time u’ll hear such related things frm me.. im s0rry.. I didn’t mean t0 hurt u.. “
I st0pped half way and I t0ld him, lets sit.. ( 20 mins m0re t0 get t0 0ffice.. and the CC is jus 1 min walk away) he was like 0ne puppy listening t0 the 0wner.. and quickly wen t0 sit at the st0ne table w/o saying anyting..
We sat 0pp0site 0pp0site.. I begin my lecture.. I left it up t0 him f0r his 0wn practical.. all I said was..
“Firdaus.. I t0k u listen.. ok? (he n0dded) Inge paaru, I didn’t ask f0r ur s0rry.. wadever u’ve d0ne 0r said, is all 0ver.. saying s0rry d0esnt change a single thing.. I didn’t say I c0mpletely hate u.. I like u.. I like Amir and Parthi and the rest.. u guys are very j0vial.. very cute, funny and etc etc.. my days at this CC wld be s0 dull and sickening and the time will drag IF u 3 aint there.. im jus lucky tt I g0t a j0b in this CC.. but I didn’t expect u t0 gr0w feelings like 2/3 days aft I arrive.. isn’t tt funny? And u can say, l0ve at 1st sight.. I dun believe tt shit.. its n0t tamil padam u n0e.. 0k fine, be it l0ve at 1st sight, tell me wad u’ll n0e abt tt pers0n u hv l0ve 0n the 1st sight? Can u see their character frm the b0dy language? Can u see their past frm their eyes? Can u understand the real pers0n behind the mask shes wearing?
He was silent..
0k fine.. lets n0t t0k abt s0me0ne wh0 dun exist. Take me.. u said l0ve at 1st sight.. wad did u liked in me tt u gr0w ur fantasies??
He said, “ I liked ur friendliness, I liked the way u behave with ppl arnd u.. and.. I g0t attracted by ur smile and ur eyes.. “
I resp0nded, “ MY WHAT?”
He said, “ smile and eyes.. 0n the 1st day itself, I saw u smiling al0t.. and wen u t0k 0s0 u smile.. and I like tt m0le ab0ve ur lips.. ( I was like.. DAMN U.. ) den, wen u t0k rite.. if I look into ur eyes.. it seem t0 gl0w.. and, ur eyes attracted me..”
And I said, “ kk enuff.. I dun0 whether t0 believe u 0r wad.. but I w0nt.. I n0e men l0ves t0 sweet t0k.. their fav h0bby.. wad the hell u n0e abt me den? I can be s0me0ne wh0 was in pr0bati0n.. n0w I thirunthuraan den wear scarf all? I can be s0me0ne wh0 has d0ne bad stuffs and I c0vering myself? I can be s0me0ne wh0 c0mmited a crime? U’ll nv n0e.. n0wadays, females wear scarf 0s0 make 0ut in the public.. hmmm… ithu paaru da.. im attached f0r a yr plus.. and I really l0ve my guy and he l0ves me t00.. and theres a pr0b in his family.. which I d0wan t0 t0k abt.. im n0t asking u t0 get 0ut frm my life.. I cant, c0s everyday I see u in 0ffice.. b0 pian.. I jus wan u t0 st0p having tis fantasy and saying my eyes gl0w and my butt farts all.. ( he smiled ) we shall be wh0 we are.. I n0e its kinda hurting tt I’ve said tis straight f0rward. Im like tis.. I dun like means, I dun like.. im stubb0rn.. “
He pr0mised me he w0n say anyting like tt t0 me.. and we bec0me friends again!! His whacky-ness began 0nce we stepped int0 the 0ffice.. aiy00.. Again laughter.. st0mach pain la.. den g0ing h0me time, Amir was gg his Grandma hse.. Parthi 0ff.. I walked t0 the MRT with Fir.. and we br0ke fast by drinking ice lem0n tea.. frm c0ffee sh0p the h0me made 0ne..
Felt unc0mf0rtable walking with him.. dun0 why.. s0 0nce at the stati0n I t0ld him, I waiting f0r my guy.. u g0 ahead.. and he insisted in staying.. den I said, if he n0es he’ll get p0nna pissed and suspect and I get sad.. den he said 0k0k.. den I see u tmr den he left…
Den I came h0me.. I was like feeling guilty.. c0s wadever happens t0 me tt day, I’ll tell Prince.. but tis fella liked me frm day 1.. but I didn’t tell.. s0 I was like telling him at nite.. the thing I liked in Prince is, if I g0t smth t0 say, he’ll keep really silent and listen t0 me… and he’ll t0k onli wen I finish.. ( c0s, if he interrupts, I’ll 4g0t half 0f the thing I was abt t0 tell him.. and c0s he wants me t0 0pen up.. =)
S0 yea.. I g0t a bit 0f sc0lding.. he asked if im there t0 wrk 0r have fun.. well, if u enj0y g0ing wrk means, u dun hv t0 d0 a single wrk wad.. he said, he was happy tt I t0ld him all this.. and he t0ld me t0 watch 0ut f0r him.. and s0me 0ther things which are n0t c0ming t0 mind right n0w.. aft tt, he was AGAIN bullying me..
I actually feel happy weneva he sc0lds me.. tt sh0ws tt he g0t the rights and he sc0lding me c0s he l0ves me.. he wants me t0 g0 t0 the right part.. at least he d0esnt sc0lds me f0r small things like my 2nd br0..
*bites Rahima*
W0kays.. tts all f0r day 4 at w0rk..
