Tuesday, July 31, 2007 | 9:41 PM | 0 Comments
well, if the moods could be represented by colours, my life would be such a rainbow right now. not exactly mine, mine. but for the people around me. they're pissed, they're stressed, they're thrilled, they're complaining, they're giggly, they're tired, they're full of everything.. n me, i stand faraway, observing each of them. wishing i can make them see the brighter side of life..
at times when u feel u need someone to hear u out, or feel so hurt inside that u wanna throw every thought out, n just be an empty mind, just stop. stop what u r doing. go somewhere alone. and cry. and when u cry, u will cry so hard that u'd surprised at ur own internal pain. the result of always holding back tears, is just more pain. that day, i had never expected to cry that hard. for a problem i've had almost all my life.. i just couldn't stop.
let u be the sun, let me be the rain.
u shine on me, i drizzle on u.
we can make rainbows.
especially when u make me shy n i make u shy.
you can stand under my umbrella.
hehe. sshhhh, quiet. people have been saying that i'm so talkative.
but nooo. sometime ago, i was known for being a silencer.
and back then nothing helped being one.
so i am now expressing myself.
i joke and tease. but hey, u do like it deep in right?
who would wanna live a formal live being serious all their life?
oops... sorry definately not me! i'm enjoying my life. so don't stop me or block my way.
KEEP OUT-for those who are supposed to be gone.
well, what can i say? in this not-so-permanent world, there are things that never change. and when u expect and explanation, u'd rather not wanna know or hear about it. let's jus say, i'm not interested as long as it doesn't involve me?
there have been old frens walking past me in the streets and on the internet who ask how i'm doing. i wonder to myself, should i say life is great coz i'm not into anything ryte now OR should i say life sucks and list down why...
when we pretend to be deaf,dumb and blind, life will go numb. that's what i'm doing.
but anyhow, i like the way it is for now. Performing my impt duties like studying, working part-time n being a gd daughter to my mum. Have been extremely minimising my frens circle to those who are only close to me. Can u derive a word to describe me? I don't think so.
Actually if u wanna talk facts, i'm a very nice person.
it doesn't hurt to flirt, but it's something i'd stay away from. i get reminded of those days i had with Prince alot nowadays, how i wish i can tell him all these. He is my only inspiration. But he is telling me to concentrate on my studies first. That has a bigger priority than love. You know i am urs, then why worry so much. He has a point there. All lovers lose concentration in whatever they are doing, due to love. i got no idea why. All a girl would want frm a guy is love and security. something only he could give amongst everyone else in my life. A first true love can also be the last true love for some people. People say love comes only once, but it came a few times for me. Ansari & Prabz. n0w Asan? Is it real?
during an arguement with Shah, he said, " those who came in the middle, will leave in the middle. Those who came in the first, will stay till the last ". Ansari came 1st, but now he is with God. so.. is it true? i duno.
i know what i want in life. Yet, due to the surrounding problems, my mind isn't stable. i've learnt to accept the fact that my Prince is not here with me till December. I've learnt that abt few months before.. been leaving with that. but being a gal, who needs love n care shown to her often, sometimes i jus cant accept it. another 1 more month for our 1 yr and another 4 more months for him to come back. i always calm myself by thinking, this is the beginning stage. Down the road, he'll be urs only. And i'll start thinking abt the house we'll be in. onli the 2 of us and so on. that will always make me smile.
but i got a qn... Will this relationship last till the end?
despite having age gap difference and nationallity difference?
sadly, i really duno an answer for that...
♥ TrappedButterfly
