S0metimes I w0nder, if g0d’s being cruel and merciless with us 0R we’re d0ing things in a wr0ng way and end up blaming g0d.
G0d will be the last name in ur list, if u’re g0ing 0n with a “Blaming” spree.. he created u, theref0re, he n0es the best f0r u..
Few things made me update my bl0g.. a c0uple 0f dem made me sad.. and I feel really disapp0intment. U’ll n0e why by the end 0f my p0st. I dun wish t0 be lengthy.. If I dun like t0 read l0ng l0ng st0ries, I shld accept the same frm my readers.
W0rst thing in life is being ign0red. Ign0red f0r s0me valid 0r invalid reas0ns. Imagining being a l0ner. A l0ner by ch0ice. 0h g0d.. F0r ppl like me, a chatty and l0ud pers0n, I’ll find it hard t0 c0pe. There are s0me wh0’ve ch0sen t0 be al0ne. u cant blame dem.
Imagine, ur fren 0f 5 yrs, started t0 drift away aft being attached.. he/she d0esnt give u a pr0per ans why he/she went away frm u. wad will u tink? As f0r me, I’ll start blaming myself – c0s 0f me he/she nv 0k t0 me, c0s I said smth wr0ng, c0s I hurt their feelings. U n0e, I’ll start blaming myself. I’ll be like s0 w0rried.. s0 sad.. while the 0ther party will be enj0ying himself/herself. S0 I’ve decided. Wadever it is, its my life. If 0thers cant be b0thered, why shld I b0ther. If they need den 0nli they’ll c0me and t0k. if n0t, they w0nt care.. I’ve seem many like tis. I jus accepted the fact.
F0r s0me reas0n, s0me0ne might be angry/upset with me. im n0t g0nna ask u 0r beg u t0 c0me n t0k t0 me. if u’ve respected me, treated me like ur fren, u wldnt feel anger or anyting wad. C0s u n0e my character. U n0e I dun purposely d0 mistakes. If u’re in the wr0ng, I’ll p0int it 0ut t0 u. I dun f0rce u t0 g0 0n my way. I’ll expect u t0 think f0r urself. If tt hurt u.. den t00 bad.. I leave it t0 u, if u still wanna t0k t0 me. I dun give a damn abt anyting. I n0e wad I wan in life. I’ve decided hw my future wld be like. Friends are like m0ney. They c0me and g0. Even ur savings, wld 0ne day disappear. Tt means, even my very very very best fren, wld 0ne day disappear.. and she did. My best fren, Sundari.. is n0 l0nger in t0uch wld me, due t0 her busy schedules and everyting, she d0esnt hv time f0r herself, leave al0ne me.. wh0 n0es, the 0ne I treasure s0 much, my Prince, might n0t be my Prince. My parents, will 0s0 w0nt be with me 0ne day.. my siblings.. every0ne..
I wldnt be surprise if 0ne day, im al0ne. jus being me and hanging 0ut with myself. True frens will listen t0 0ne an0ther.
We came t0 tis w0rld empty handed, we’re expected t0 leave empty handed t00. We’re like in a v0cati0n.. a very l0ng l0ng h0liday.. 0ne day, we’ve t0 return back t0 where we c0me frm.
Like wen we g0 msia f0r holiday, we’ll g0 back t0 sg again rite? Same as tt..
Im g0nna end tis here..
If u’re upset/anger/ign0ring me/wadever, be it.. if u nv chat/tok with me.. im fine with it.. ur decision, I’ll jus accept. Im n0t g0nna w0rry and ask u why and all tis shit.. wanna backstab me, g0 ahead, I’ll give u my full supp0rt. If 0ne day, u wanna t0k, I’ll be there.. s0mewhere where u can find me. I’ll be nice with u. even th0ugh u were missing f0r quite awhile.. if I say smth which u dun like, jus shut up. And stop asking me qns, like why tis why tt..
Im g0ing t0wards my path 0f achievement. Wadever holes I c0me acr0ss, I’ll jus jump and c0ntinue walking. The h0les can be stupid frens I hv, pr0blems and 0ther tings which u can ting 0f.
If u’re really ign0ring me, G00D. stay the fuck 0ut. Dun msg, dun call, dun t0k. I’ll be REALLY happy. I’ve 0ne d0wn in my pr0blems list.
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Next thing is, Rahima, I really L0VE u al0t. I dun0 if im l0ving u as much as my br0, lesser 0r m0re. all I n0e is I lubb u. u’ve fwens arnd u wh0 l0ves u, cares f0r u, there wen u’re d0wn, and theres th0se wh0 bitch abt u.. I dun care wh0 u’re with. All I n0e is in the end, u’re mine. I mean, 0ne 0f my family. Ur family is impt than ur frens. S0metimes I feel jeal0us wen tis n tt fren says she loves u n stuffs. Haha.. but I always tink abt the end. U’ll be 0ne 0f family members. I st0pped getting jeal0us.
Prince was like (O_o) wen I said tis, s0 err.. I s0mehw n0e wads ur reacti0n n0w. =]
Hmm.. abt ur results.. im really s0rry abt tt. I n0e u studied hard. But it turned 0ut tis way. Prince t0ld me n0t t0 tk failure s0 seri0usly.. its jus a step t0wards ur success. See n0w, by g0d’s grace, u’re given an0ther chance. H0pe u’re thanking him f0r tt.
Its n0t the end 0f the w0rld as u think. C0s wen we’re d0ing 0s, 0ur mind is like set t0 JC and POLY. G0ing ite 0r pvt is like 0nli the failures g0.. its like s000 typical. Its n0t wr0ng 0f u t0 be upset wen u g0t t0 n0e u’re dismissed. Tts ur typical way 0f thinking. But n0w, see the 0utside w0rld. There’re pvt centres. Al0t 0f 0pp0rtunities.
But since u’re given a 2nd chance n0w. dun EVER waste it. Its like g0d giving u a chance t0 c0rrect urself. We n0e tt if tis is chance is g0ne means, u can g0 pvt. But dun ever tink abt gg pvt. DUN!
Rmb I t0ld u I was kinda disapp0inted?
Disapp0intment number 1: -
U n0e I’ve l0tsa plans with ya? Like aft dipl0ma, g0 NIE t0gether. Ask f0r the same sch00l and stuffs?
0nce u t0ld me tt u’ve flunk ur exams, f0r a m0ment I t0t I failed mine. And I was feeling really upset and depressed and angry tt I failed. It was like its my results and im feeling f0r it. Den my t0ts f0r the future came.
Wld my dreams c0me true? Wld we be t0gether in NIE? Same batch? And t0day m0rning wen u said u g0t a 2nd chance, I was feeeeeeeling s0 s0 s00000 happy! =)
And I’ve a big nambikkai tt u’ll pass tis time r0und.
Im n0t asking u t0 study hard c0s I wan u t0 be with me in NIE. D0 deg t0gether. G0ssip t0gether and stuff. I d0wan u t0 end up being a hsewife. I d0wan u t0 hv a l0w j0b.
Elder br0 aft his h0n0urs, he’ll get a very gd j0b. his fiancé, Rabitha Machi, she’s a teacher. 2nd br0, he’ll get int0 a gd j0b aft his sign 0n. and u? s0me clerk in s0me firm? W0nt it be shameful? Th0ugh my siblings and Machi w0nt be l00king d0wn at u, but w0nt u feel hurt? W0nt u regret? U’ll hv the feeling tt u dun bel0ng..
Why plan t0 regret ltr? S0 study hard n0 matter wad field u’re in. jus rmb, theres an0ther 1 and half yrs m0re. aft tt we shall run to NIE.. ok? Ok????? Say ok!
Ok
Dun disapp0int me, alrite baby?
N0 matter hw much it hurts u, angers u, hw deep a pr0b is. Jus smile. Tk it as it is. Dun g0 f0r revenge 0r wadever. There wldnt be a difference between u and the 0ther party. I guess u understand I mean.. yea?
Jus be happy da.. l00k at me.. I nv seen tt idi0t f0r 8 mths edi.. and im still smiling t0 u guys.. pr0bs is within me. s0metimes I break d0wn.. but n0 0ne will n0e. smtimes u’ll n0e. but weneva I break d0wn, Asan will n0e. why? C0s, he made me pr0mise him, a day b4 he left, tt I shldnt cry anym0re in my life. Even if it hurts, and I need t0 cry. N0 p0int crying. It’ll keep u calm f0r awhile. Aft tt? Same pr0b again. S0 if I cry, I’ll tell him. c0s I swear up0n him edi. D0wan him t0 die u see. hahaha! 0f c0s, he’ll sc0ld me. f0r crying. And he’ll tell me wad t0 d0. Like tk it as, m0m sc0lded me f0r, er, n0t cleaning the hse. And I cry. Den he’ll advise me. saying im the 0nli daughter s0 I need t0 help arnd in the hse. It helps la..
* tt is why I prefer 0lder guys =P *
My br0 d0esnt like u t0 cry.. s0 dun. Be happy he didn’t ask u t0 swear n0t t0 cry. Be sure tt the thing u’re crying f0r, is w0rth ur tears. Prabz t0ld me tis. =)
Wen I cried f0r Prince. Wen I missed him al0t al0t al0t during the 1st few mths. He asked me whether Prince is w0rth my tears and I n0e he was!
S0 yea.. underst00d my lecture? S0 get 0n t0 ur practical.
I l0ve u as much as u l0ve me.. =)
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Actually ahhhhh.. n0w rite.. daddy b0ught " Pirates 0f the Carribean " s0.. i wanna watch tt.. hehehe! s0 i'll c0ntinue tmr? tis is 0redi l0ng enuff. =P
