Tuesday, July 17, 2007 | 10:05 PM | 0 Comments
t0day smth funny happen in the bus.. i t00k bus at cck t0 my hse.. at yew tee, the bus became realli realli realli pack.. lucky i was sitting d0wn.. den few secs b4 my st0p came, a lady standing near me, t00k a h0ney drew frm the grnd n asked ppl arnd her wh0se it is.. den a guy sitting d0wn t00k the h0ney drew, i t0t his u n0e.. sekali he lifted up the h0ney drew n ask l0ud l0ud, "suay de? wh0s 0ne is tis? " l0lx! every0ne laughed sia.. den wen h0me, nv eat.. n0 pasi.. den wen tuiti0n.. came back.. n bl0gggggging! g0nna slp early t0day.. eyes pain.. dun0 why......
l0ve u all..
♥ TrappedButterfly
| 12:01 AM | 0 Comments
0k tis p0st g0nna be l0ng.. be prepared! L0Lx!
yday was a super duper tiring day.. like i said in the previ0us p0st i was very happy.. aft the m0rning c0rrupti0n by the great prabz.. i was c0rrupted the wh0le day.. i started t0king in d0uble meaning with my frens n tt really made den laugh.. si0a!
aft sch00l... was studying al0ne at the usual place, Ai Li came by sat wit me.. n0e her during the 0rientati0n.. we g0t clicked.. & we became lesbians.. aiy0.. shes fun t0 be with.. shes n0t my class but shes in 2 same lecture classes.. she was having her retest n i was having my c0mm0n test. b0th same ppr.
ended up, she n i studying t0gether.. den in class 0s0 sit 0ne table away.. den wad else, ask f0r f0rmulas l0r.. haha.. den Xander, my classmate, he frm behind asking.. den wadeva he c0pied frm me, he sh0wed t0 Steven wh0 was behind him.. b0th my classmates.. b0th will crack up the class like n0 b0dy's biz.
wh0le day my waist t0 b0tt0m was jus pain.. i cant even stretch n ease the pain.. i didnt n0e why.. but i g0t experience it b4.. but dun0 wad i d0 t0 ease it.. half way d0ing the exam, had t0 rush t0 t0ilet. argh.. n f0und 0ut tt i've menses... bl00y t00t la.. haha! den i rmbered.. c0s 0f my menses, my l0wer part was painful
aaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!
d0c 0redi t0ld me, ur 1st menses aft ur 0p will be a pain, be it next mth (june) 0r dec, still pain.. c0s jus had 0p.. they cut the cest inside n made my damaged fallopian tube l00k better.. s0.. will be pain la.. s0.. it was hurting me..
haiz.. ever since my 1st menses in my life till n0w, weneva i've my peri0d.. it'll be super pain.. i see 0ther gals.. all will say n0t tt pain.. can bear. y i cant.. aunts say c0s ur m0m was like tis, s0 u 0s0 like tis.. 0r m0m did smth wen she had menses.. s0 u became like tis.. s0 wadeva m0m d0, the daughter kena? sia la.. i d0wan my daughter(s) n0r 0ther gals t0 experience the same as me sia.. h0rrible pain le..
if i tell Anand abt tis pain he'll say... err? wad can i do abt it? tk 0ut ur uterus n put inside me n i give u my thambi? WTF! tt fella ah.. super 0pen minded.. seriyaana l00su..
with tt pain, aft test, i wen jur0ng f0r tuiti0n.. den t00k taxi back h0me.. cann0t tahan tt pain.. s0me m0re i didnt hv tt ting, n i nv put.. kinda unc0mf0rtable.. I N0E! ITS N0T NICE T0 SAY TIS HERE! BUT ITS MY PERS0NAL BL0G N 0NLI MY CL0SE 0NES READ THE BL0G! S0 I WISH T0 TELL MY CL0SE 0NES ABT WAD IM SUFFERING ABT N FRM!
wa.. fierce sia.. L0LX!
like i said in the previ0us bl0g, i cldnt wait t0 t0k t0 Prince.. let him c0ntinue the thing he was t0king abt.. called him.. n he was saying AL0T 0f c0nfusing things... haiz...... its bel0w..
aft hang up, i was tinking abt wad he was really saying.. why he s0unded s0 w0rried.. n why i didnt understand anyting? i was changing the skin 0f bl0g f0r my fren, being very c0nfused at the same time, wen wh0 called?
wh0 called? wh000?? the 0ne wh0 n0es wen im d0wn n c0nfused n everyting, with0ut being there.. i dun0 hw he n0es sia.. but he'll call at the right time, ALWAYS.. wh0 u ask? Prabz la..
my all time fav0urite sweetheart.. =)
i asked him hw c0me u call suddenly, why u call, wh0 t0ld u t0 call.. had s0 many qns, but he answered s0 blankly, " i t0t abt u s0 i call u.. " ya fine.. WHY! why n0t tmr, 0r t0day.. hw c0me u always call wen im d0wn!! wh0s telling u wad! ahh!
a m00lam n0es al0t abt an0ther m00lam!
kena f0rced t0 tell wad happen.. c0s i s0unded 0ne kind.. but i seri0usly dun0 wads wr0ng.. if n0t i'd t0ld him.. but i was hesitating c0s im super c0nfused!
haiz....
ended up t0king abt the kitten he gave me as a gift.. its a s0ft t0y la n0t real 0ne.. but l00ks real.. damn cute l0r.. den t0ld him abt the st0ry abt tt kitten n i slping.. paiseh sia..
aft s0 l0ng, heard him laugh.. in fact, aft s0 l0ng. we t0ked 0n the f0ne.. =)
f0rg0t abt my c0nfusi0n at tt time... amazingly, aft we hang up, i cl0sed my eyes, i slpt.. t0day m0rning 0nli wake up..
** theres a chinese fella sitting infr0nt 0f me wh0 l00ks EXACTLY like prabz.. ahhhh! the way he smile, l00ks at his frens.. all same siaaaaa! the way he eats.. 00ps.. n0rmally wen we g0 0ut, prabz will eat 0ne.. eat n eat n eat.. **
s0rry darling..
this is f0r u da....
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm like a child,when it comes to you. I cry,if you're not be my side. Those eyes,that brighten up my life, morning, noon, day and night. Always craving your kisses, that tell no lies. Your arms, where I feel at peace, rocking me like a baby where I fall asleep. When I'm starving, I take refuge with your kisses..
i realli dun0 wads g0ing 0n.. wen i t0ld him rahima is thinking tt his age is a barrier n d0esnt feel anything n0w, he g0t angry.. he g0t angry wit rahima.. i t0ld him n0 matter wad shes my marni. she has the right t0 care abt me.. in the end he g0t angry with me.. he nv g0t angry with me.. never ever! haiz.. but tt didnt last l0ng.. he was saying abt hw much i did f0r him.. & 0thers wh0 were there f0r him.. he said he d0esnt care abt 0thers.. all he cares is wad hes d0ing n0w.. well 0k.. half way t0king line cut.. i said in the previ0us p0st rite..
den i g0t t0 t0k t0 him t0day.. he cried.. he seri0usly cried.. asked him wad happen.. he said in a s0ft v0ice.. tt his m0m is having high bp n all.. n saying she w0nt live l0ng.. she g0t her 0ther kids married 0ff happily, 0nli he nv marry.. she tinks tt she'll die with0ut seeing him marry.. well tts m0thers.. all m0ms r like tt.. n he said, until she sees her grandkids thru him, she wont die all.. he made her happy for the m0ment.. den he called his g0dsis.. wh0 treats him like her very 0wn br0.. abt all these.. he said t0ld her.. if Naz is here beside me.. i wld hv cried n hugged her.. but shes n0t here.. i cant cry infr0nt 0f u 0r my frens 0r family.. 0nli t0 her.. c0s shes my everyting.. she was there thru thick n thin.. like wad rahima said, im scared i cant get her c0s 0f my age.. actually i dun mind if ppl tell me tt im 0ld n all.. but i d0wan ppl t0 tell Naz n hurt her.. she cant tk all these.. i seri0usly dun0 wad t0 d0.. m0m 0ne side like tt.. Naz saying my frens n her marni saying like tt.. i feel s0 hurt.. i feel like im the 0ne wh0 has the bp n im g0nna die.. if i've the chance, i'll die 1st.. at least i'll be happily getting my punishment.. n0w im jus leaving everyting t0 g0d.. even my Naz.. ( he t0ld her sis, " en Nazirah " =) t0uch w00d, if we cant be t0gether in future.. i'll still t0k t0 her & hv my friendship wit her still.. c0s, i n0e, she w0nt tk it tt im n0t wit her.. n even she said, tt she'll die.. i n0e she l0ves me al0t.. i'll be like a b0dy with0ut a s0ul if i nv t0k t0 her.. nv bully her nv tease her.. she said her m0m dun like 00ru kaarans.. s0 i dun0 wads g0nna happen.. my head g0nna burst.. "
den his g0dsister t0ld him.. " dun w0rry t00 much, c0me back t0 sg, we'll t0k abt it.. wait till dec.. i'll be there f0r u.. i'll t0k t0 naz.. i'll t0k t0 her parents if u wan.. but dun tell her anyting abt wad u t0ld him.. shes n0t str0ng.. shes like a fl0wer.. if u g0t a pr0b, she runs n help u 1st.. she l0ves u really al0t.. i can see tt.. dun tell her anyting.. c0me back t0 sg, we'll t0k abt it.. s0mem0re, shes the 0nli daughter, later wad if she d0es smth wr0ng? "
he said," shes n0t tt kind wh0 f0ll0w things blindly.. even aft wad i say all she'll tink abt it.. n call me the very next m0ment n tell me if i was wr0ng 0r right.. n0body can understand me well.. th0ugh she d0esnt cry infr0nt 0f me, shes crying in her heart.. she l00ks at me n smile like nth happen.. but her eyes will tell me she has a pr0b.. she cant take it wen i've a pr0b.. either she'll try s0lving it.. 0r keep it t0 herself wen im c0mplaining t0 her.. she'll keep all her s0rr0ws t0 herself n onli listen t0 mine.. but n0w n den, she'll 0pen up.. wen she 0pens up, wen she cries, i cant tk it.. she d0esnt wan t0 see me cry.. s0 she w0nt tell.. but easy t0 find 0ut thru her v0ice n eyes.. she realli w0rries f0r me... i n0e she realli cares n l0ves me.. but i scared she'll tink like wad 0thers will tink.. 0h 00ru kaaran la.. n0 w0nder he like tt all.. till n0w she j0kingly 0nli say, " 00ru kaaran wad u.. tts why la.. ur 00ru wad n all " j0ke 0nli.. but i scared.. 0ne day c0s 0f 0thers she'll say the same.. but i g0t the trust tt she w0nt. she n0es hw t0 tink f0r herself.. th0ugh she l00ks n behaves childishly.. wen c0mes t0 tinking shes matured.. but she has a heart t00... "
but he t0ld me, c0s he nv hid anyting frm me b4.. s0mem0re he said, he n0 manasu t0 hide frm me.. i was jus listening wit sh0ck.. he realli l0ves me m0re den wad i t0t.. he really cares f0r me.. a sister wh0m i n0e like yday, n0es me super well.. she t00k care 0f me wen i was in h0spital.. i t0t she t00k care 0f me like hw i t00k care 0f her wen she had an 0p.. i t0t shes jus repaying my kindness.. but s00n i realise, she did stuffs tt Prince wld be d0ing.. im realli glad tt i n0e her.. i am realli...
i asked him, why dun u marry a gal ur m0m says.. ur m0m needs u.. she d0esnt need me.. 0nli s0n wh0 hasnt marry... den he said.. hw can i wen my heart is filled wit u... u 0s0 hv a heart.. i n0e u'll listen t0 me.. i n0e if i ask u sit u'll sit.. ask u stand, u'll stand.. but u oso g0t feelings n heart.. i shld tink abt u 0s0... hmmm..
i dun0 wads happening lah... he started saying tings.. hes unsure weather we can be t0gether n all.. im scared.. im w0rried.. i g0t n0 idea wads g0ing 0n...
but i'd like t0 say 0ne ting t0 him..
im willing t0 give up anything jus t0 be wit u ma.. c0s i l0ve u al0t.. i really d0.. u're n0t like s0me 0ther guy.. u hv a interesting character..
i cant f0rget tis.. i l0ve the way, u held me cl0se t0 u, wen i came 0ver t0 ur hse, n i was having high fever, aft tking medicine, i was realli dr0wsy.. i lied 0n ur sh0ulder.. u grabbed my head n put it 0n ur chest.. u str0ke my hair.. u sang s0ngs t0 me.. wen i w0ke up abt an hr later, u might me slp back.. wen i said i hv t0 g0, u said wait, n made f0r me mil0.. made me eat.. wen i say d0wan.. u fed me.. u didnt like me t0uch the cup.. u fed me wit mil0 n biscuits.. its in my mind always... i realli realli realli realli realli l0ve u..
bear in mind tt every0ne has pr0bs ma.. dun be upset 0ver these pr0bs.. h0ld my hand n 0verc0me it, we can get far in life.. =)
like i always call him... " baby ma, 
"
"im c0nfused 0ver it.. i dun0 wads wr0ng.. i h0pe i'll be freed frm tis c0nfusi0n.. n0b0dy can help me but him.. waiting t0 t0k t0 him t0nite...
haizzzzzz
♥ TrappedButterfly
