1st 0f all.. I w0nt be saying s0rry t0 th0se I’ve ign0red f0r the past few days.. its my life, isn’t it? I g0t the right t0 t0k & n0t t0 right? And I dun hv t0 g0 arnd saying, ‘ s0rry tt I didn’t t0k to u’, d0 i?

2ndly, if u seemed me being rude in anyway, well t00 bad. Blame it 0n my m00d. t00 many stuffs in my head. Mentally & emotionally hurt.

3rd, why d0 men refuse s0 badly t0 express their feelings? Wads wr0ng in expressing? D0esnt hurt rite? 0r scared t0 get hurt? I dun0…

0nce 0ut 0f the 0peration theatre, nurse br0ught me back t0 the ward. There I saw everyb0dy. I saw daddy’s face. T0 me, daddy is 0ne str0ng man. A passionate, n0tty, cute n everything else. S0me0ne I wished all men were like. When I saw his face, he l00ked as th0ugh he jus cried. I nv seen tt kinda expressi0n & l00k on daddy bef0re. it was so hurting. I felt super bad & felt like murdering myself wen I t0t abt the days I cursed & scolded & t0ked back t0 him when he sc0lded me. I n0e daddy l0ves me. till t0day, he’ll call up while hes busy at w0rk, ask ab0ut me. whether its painful or hv I eaten or taken my medicine.

Qn: did I hurt him? did I ever made him lose his face?

Remembered one day, he said tt hes g0nna wash hands 0n me after an argument. But the very next day, he t0ked t0 me like nth has happened… wad will I be d0ing if daddy wasn’t here.. I rmb the times wen I was in primary sch00l where maths & tamil wasn’t my cup 0f tea. M0m used t0 whack me till I turn blue black. Wh0 was there t0 save me? br0thers? They were t00 scared wen it c0mes t0, m0mmy beating while studying. Daddy was there. Till n0w. im lucky m0m dun0 anyting abt electrical. Dad n0es. If I say smth abt electrical stuffs & I’ll be g0ing here & there t0 study, u must see his pr0ud l00k. his little gal made him pr0ud. But I dun tink s0.. I always tink tt theres m0re I can d0.

Elder br0 made my parents pr0ud. By scoring 8 distincti0ns in his 0s, by g0ing t0 RJC den shifted t0 ACJC. Sc0ring 7 distincti0ns there & by g0ing to NUS & studying life science there. A child all parents wants.

2nd br0? He made dem pr0ud by being daddy’s duplicate. Seeing him is seeing my 2nd br0. But slightly more tempered den daddy. Hes yet t0 make dem m0re pr0ud. C0mpleted his dipl0ma in NYP with n0t s0 g00d n n0t so bad grades, hes g0ing NS 0n the 12th. Hes my fighting partner n whacky partner. Either 0f us will find any small reason t0 argue & fight. But wen c0me t0 bully, n0b0dy can win us. N0w he g0ing away, but will be back. It’ll nv be the same again. Th0ugh I nv said tis t0 him but its always in my heart. Even th0ugh we fight & laugh t0gether, u’re the best br0 I can ever haf. N0t 4g0tting my elder br0. Hes 0ne 0f a kind. A silent & tough & clever br0.

Me? I made my parents disapp0int wen I fall int0 N0rmal Academic in sec sch00l. but made dem pr0ud wen my maths which sucked a great time in primary sch00l, sh0t up. I always g0t A since sec 1. =)
My studies became so g00d tt I g0t scholarships every yr. n0t f0rgetting my CCA. I was called p0lice w0man at h0me. I was rewarded f0r my studies & my CCA in sch00l. they were very happy abt tt. Den I made dem m0re happy wen I passed my 0s & wen t0 p0ly. & n0w.. in p0ly.. 1st yr, I did very well. Tt made daddy treat me in Al-Ameen restaurant. I pr0ved dem wr0ng wen they said, I cant study well. Im in NA. I n0t like my br0thers. Recently an0ther ting made daddy happy was, I c00ked f0r the family 2 days straight. All said my c00king were gd. Haha! I started t0 l0ve c00king & keep asking m0m if I can c00k. and she was like, eh dun la.. dun like tt.. u c00ked small simple dishes ok la.. n0w u say u wanna c00k, fish, chicken all.. I pity ur br0thers n dad la.. guess she understands the family situation.. anyway.. I l0ve daddy!

Fourthly, s0me0ne hurt me…
S0me0ne n0b0dy knew abt yet. But.. I cant be hiding frm every0ne. its n0t the right time t0 tell every0ne.. haiz.. my ex wh0 came by t0 visit me, scolded me frm being s0 careless in life, tt I had t0 g0 f0r an 0p. wen I asked him why he sc0lding me, he said, 0nli th0se wh0 have akkarai, paasam 0n the 0ther pers0n, will tend t0 sc0ld. Tt sh0ws tt particular pers0n cares n wants the best f0r the 0ther pers0n. true. But wad is 0ne sc0lds 0ther EVERYTIME? Sh0wing care 0r he wen sioa? I dun0…. Jus g0tta wait till he returns… bleah... the end.. d0wan t0k abt it. =#

Fifthly, I wanna thank Minnie M0use a.k.a Rahima f0r being there wanna I need s0me0ne. shes s0me0ne wh0 will listen t0 me. sc0lds me wen I cry.

Why shld I cry? Why shld I cry f0r men? Am I living f0r men 0r myself?

Aft prabz, rahima is mine.. I even asked m0mmy, why theres n0 sister like rahima f0r me? n she said, cann0t! ltr g0t jeal0usy, ltr fight all. Gals onli fight meh? Boys no meh? If my 2 br0thers can be 2gether why cant me n my sister, if I had 0ne. haiz… I jus wish I had a elder sister. A sister wh0m I can depend 0n… haizzz… but.. I became an elder sister.. to a little rascal.. l00k h0w fate plays in my life.

Sixthly, I wanna change my bl0g skin & nth seemed t0 interest me. if any0ne g0t a nice skin, pls d0 tell me. thanks!

The end 0f my l0ng p0st. thanks f0r reading!