[ .reality hurts - words from the heart. ]

Mommy coming home soon!

2011-11-20T17:30:00.001+08:00

Another 1 week. Mom will b back! Waiting eagerly! :)

Day 6

2011-11-03T07:47:00.001+08:00

Mom msg dad yday. Saying she's in Mecca.. :)

Been teaching Aziz when I reach home. Smart but lazyyyy to the max.

Tdy his Tamil. N he will hv to revise English when he's bk home.

Tmr going to straits kitchen with bros dad n ayub uncle. Celebrate dad bday. Hope he loves it. Need to get a gift for him. Hmm most prob will go tdy... Insha Allah.

Hari raya hajj without mom.
Hajj prayers without mom.
Breakfast without mom.
Mowluth without mom.
:(

Anyway she's going hajj in Arafat. N will come back as a hajah. Alhamduillah.

Missing her a lot. :(

2011-11-02T13:14:00.003+08:00

Couldnt post the previous post. 

Day 2 since mom went hajj

2011-11-02T13:14:00.001+08:00

She's the one whom I share everything. 1st thing when I come home, I'll start telling her what happen tdy. Since I went pri 1 till tdy... Now she went without me! I asked if u can bring me along too. She said next yr go tgt. :( I miss my mom.

Mom going hajj

2011-10-28T21:04:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow my mommy is going hajj. For one month. Will be back on nov 26.

I'm very sure it will fly fast.. But the thought her not there at home.... And not there to hear me... And not here to fight with... Makes me so sad.

I tried keeping it to myself. I cried by myself.

But tdy, I let go. She was talking to me abt what to teach Aziz.. N I cldnt control.

I hugged her n cry. She was like hey ban what happen. Why. Why r u crying. N I said nth and I sat down. She hugged me again. And said I'll b back very soon.

Den she told dad. And dad came n ask.. Oi why u crying. She gg London is it? Gg to Allah place right.

I said nth nth. Nt crying.

Den mom said dun scold my girl when
I'm gone. She's big but very soft hearted.

Wallau I cried like I'm so breathless. :(

Allah...

Enna saiya.. I've to be strong. :(

Happy children's day!!

2011-10-06T16:56:00.001+08:00

Celebrated a mass children's day in school.

Nursery and K1. My babies. :)

Watched The Wild with them.

Gave them school goodie bag, badge, pencil and balloons to them. Only to my nursery.

For my K1 babies, I gave badges.

4 hrs. Had games, ate and watched movie.

Had meeting aft that.

I went to tuition n came back ASAP.

It's 5pm. And all left. I'm Meeting up boy. He wants to fill up PR form for his wife.

Oh wells. Waiting!!!

Rain rain go away... 

2011-10-04T09:02:00.001+08:00

Gooood morning earthlings! It's raining since 4am.

Cool weather. Nice to slp. But I'm at work! Light studying in school!

Can't wait to get samsung galaxy s2!
Gotta wait till 23 oct! 

Bought the casing yday at imm.

Yawnz!!

I'm gonna continue my work. Ciaoz!

Yipppppy

2011-09-28T09:59:00.001+08:00

Today is Wednesday!!! 2 more days!!

I was told a family is coming over to ponnu parkuraan me.. :S

Nervous!! 

But if jodoh is there, I can't avoid it.

Waiting nervously........

My little boy is growing.... Fast!

2011-09-26T15:08:00.001+08:00

Welcome back Princess!

2011-09-26T09:16:00.001+08:00

Hello.. After a very long break, I'm back.. Hope I'll blog daily like I used to..

Things have changed since the last post.

I've grown slightly taller, I've put on weight, I've lost few pounds, happy, sad, angry, worried.

Ohh did I tell u that I hv a job now? No? Yes? Perhaps...

Well, I'm a full time preschool teacher. Working in PCF Radin Mas Blk 87. I'm here for 2 years! Aft graduating from Ngee Ann, I got this job and they sponsored me ADKET course in Singapore Poly. And I've been loving this job ever since.

Recently I've applied for SDECCE which is a leadership course. Just like DPL. I've aims and goals to open up my very own preschool. Insha Allah..

Currently my mom is looking for groom for me. I've stopped myself from getting a relationship. :) I've let Allah to guide me the right path. Insha Allah.

Hmm.. I pray that everything will turn out well. Ameen!

2010-12-12T11:29:00.002+08:00

i used to rant my stuffs here..

i used to upload all my pictures here..

i used to think, "blog is my life!"

but

now..

when FaceBook came,

i neglected my blog life..

i guess im back nw..

i had a quarrel with some far related friends.. few years back i guess..

it was abt blogging.

its ur personal life tat u're writing in blog.. why u wanna share it with others? isnt it suppose to be PERSONAL.

i didnt share.. nor prevented others from viewing.. btw, whos viewing? my frens.. frens are in overseas n trying to catch up.. frens who are there with me, but doesnt hv time for me.. frens who think they noe, but they dun..

u got prob? go settle with urself. and leave me out.

im not sure if i should go for tumblr. mmm...

oh wells..

2010-12-09T19:11:00.001+08:00

went back to school. decorated the class with zakiyah's help. curriculum not planned.Farah didnt say wat is our themes. school's gonna reopen.. nth is done. so sian.. asked to come back coming monday n tuesday. aiyah.. so leceh la.. waiting for KL's trip!

2010-12-04T23:24:00.002+08:00

A year of new beginning, a year of sadness, a year of trouble, a year of everything has zoomed pass me..

well, I am back.. with a BANG!

catch me till u can..

2010-08-01T21:51:00.001+08:00

Hey..

Guess what? i'm back after a very long break. I got no idea where to start. There are lots to be updated.

1st thing 1st, im still the same naz, since 22 feb 2007.

1. Matured slightly,
2. Increasement in Childishness
3. Got a secured job
4. Loves her job
5. Few additional ppl in her life.
6. Gave up on love 
7. Still as craziee as before.

Boyy got married 9th December 2009. Had a hard time getting over him. Finally did with the help of my friends. Thanks all.

Hes now jus a friend which is hard to accept. But I learnt to accept. Hes my well wisher, my adviser. One who screams at me if I step on the wrong path.. hes there.. always.. watching me.

But not with me 24/7 but hes there. Thanks boyy.

August 1 onwards, im continuing with my blog and my life story..

Lotsa things were happening.. that I didn’t have time for myself.. now I guess I do.. 

Big bully

2010-04-03T22:49:00.003+08:00

Before I start bursting into song, I'd like to announce, to myself apparently, cos i don't think anyone reads this blog, that i am EMPLOYED! uh-huh. Hopefully I'll be a good teacher, and my pupils, angels.

I've read a bit about classroom management, ever since i was teaching in a primary school, but i wonder how it's applicable to the nursery level. So I stumbled upon a website that is teaches a method that is kinda revolutionary because the method has been used from Preschoolers to College level students. I was amazed at how the preschoolers responded, almost like robots, but you know that they're learning something and teaching their friends at the same time.

Points I've learnt and i hope to implement; My one-liner explanations doesn't do it justice because in the website, it explains why the methods are used and the rationale behind it.

Class/Yes - Class responds with a 'Yes' that matches the tone and intensity of teacher's voice. Variations include claaaaass/yeeeeess or classity-class/yessity-yes. Brilliant.

Five Rules- Read out every day with actions. I especially like 'Keep your dear teacher happy!'.

Teach/Ok- A whole-brain developer. Pupils take charge of their own learning.

Last year, i was just a floating teacher. helping other teachers wen in need. towards the end, i became an English teacher for all 3 levels.

Currently, I am the form teacher of Nursery 2. 4 year old children. I've my own class, own set of rules, own children.

1st 3 weeks of this yr was a hell. new surrounding and new everything, children were not comfortable. alot of cryings, yellings, running nose. i had an assistant teacher.. aft tt 3 weeks, i was left with 14 kids in the 1st session and 12 kids in the 2nd session.

jus me, and dem.

by the way they respond to me.. treat me.. im very sure that they love me.

b4 they leave home, i'll give each n everyone of dem a hug. and they'll be jus waiting for it. so cute rite..

theres this pretty gal, Fiona.. her mom withdrew her n sent her to a child care, where its 7am to 7pm. lots of stuff taught.. her 1st day there is 1st of apr. tt very day, at 12.30pm, aft my 2nd session, i saw her n her mommy in the principal office. the mom saw me and said, she was crying terribly. and didnt want to go back to school. she kept saying she wants Teacher Naz. i was like awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

i jus spread my 2 arms.. and she came running to me!!!!!!!!!!!!! omgggggggg!!!!!!!

i love being a teacher!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-04-03T20:49:00.001+08:00

2009-12-26T14:36:00.001+08:00

SICK FROM 24TH DEC! ARGH

2009 Gonna end!

getting a yr older.
get to teach in my own class!
asan's coming back.. hmm..

more assignment. oh gosh.

2009-12-23T20:16:00.001+08:00

was cleaning and decorating my nursery class with Zakiyah..
came home, i had asthma attack cos of the dust.

ARGH

Yummy!

2009-12-19T19:31:00.002+08:00

2009-12-19T19:27:00.001+08:00

you’ll never love me the way i love you. you’ll never miss me the way i miss you. i’m not miserable anymore. i will keep waiting, since the start, till now and forever. for the only reason, i fell in love with a boy so deeply. a boy, i don’t know if he cares or not. he’ll be probably thinking, this girl. she’s crazy. she can’t leave me alone. and i only tell him what i feel truly and he still doesn’t care.

2009-12-19T18:25:00.000+08:00

"Will you look back on life and say, “I wish I had,” or “I’m glad I did”?"

2009-12-18T01:30:00.004+08:00

uploading kinda late.. but.. haha who cares!

NEW MOON WITH FATHIMA!

Waiting for this!

2009-12-18T00:36:00.002+08:00

its been 2 days since i last called him. i dun hv many to call him.

guess wad, he didnt bother calling me back either. sad rite. haish..

actually more to miss u, im getting more pissed with him..

i mean, where are all his promises?

"ma, i'll call u every single day, dun worry."
"ma, i'll nv 4get u"
"ma, i'll always be there for u."

where? where?

nth.

i call him. not he calls me.

i told u many times b4.

"see ma, aft u get married, u'll be totally a different man.. u wont call or have much contact with me, cos u're family man. u'll hv someone permanent with u. cannot say i wanna break off."

and he will get pissed and say, " dun tok nonsense k ah, i'll always talk to u. u're not someone i can 4get. u're my life."

and i will say, "oh, den marry ME"

and he'll reply, " u noe abt my mom rite.. wad can i do? no choice.."

abdul bro said, " if tt fella really loves u, he'll do everything beyond his means to get u.."

but deep in my heart, i noe he tried. he loves his mom. mom or gf? or lets say, bf or Aziz? i'll def. say Aziz.

mom or bf? MOM
dad or bf? DAD
bros or bf? BROS
husband or bf? HUSBAND LAAAH

so family comes 1st.

his mom threatened him.. so hes left w/o a choice. ok.. den wad abt me.. jus smile n walk away?

man, i was with him for 3 yrs.

I was with during his ups and downs
I was with him wen he was sad
I was with him wen he was happy
I was with him wen he was jobless
I was with him wen he got a job
I was with him wen he had trouble for PR
I was with him wen he had a PR
I was with him wen he didnt had a hse/room to stay
I was with him wen he was without money
I was with him wen he decided to start a business
I was with him wen he was choosing the shop
I was with him wen he was short of cash for the shop
I was with him wen the shop went down
I was with him wen the shop prospered again
I was with him wen he wanted another shop
I was with him wen he had trouble paying for the poultry and vegs
I was with him....... the list really goes on.. (listing a few ONLY)
I was with him everyday after work, staying till 10.30pm to help him out
I was with him wen he chose his groom suit
I was with him wen i PAID for his suit
I was with him wen we collected his suit
I was with him wen we went to buy his shoes for his marriage
I was with him wen we had our last meal together
I was with him till the very last minute...

he is now with another woman.

i noe i did my job as a gf.
i noe i was a great gf.

just tat i was appreciated.

the money spent,
the time spent,
all for him..

its been 2 days.. dun even bother asking me if im ok.

this really really hurts me.

once i called, it was very depressing for me.

he sounded down, i asked him if everything's ok.
he said, yaya, jus got tension.
i asked, why?
he didnt wanna say..

he said, i dun feel like toking to anyone. but u called few times so, i picked up.
he didnt want to talk much.
he said he had fever for 2 days.
i asked hws the shop gg n etc.

i had this feeling tt he doesnt want to talk to me. fine.. i wanted to hang up..

the line reception sucked actually. so line got cut. he didnt call back. and i didnt too.

2 days ago, wen i called, i had high fever. i duno why, wen i miss him so much, i'll get fever. jus im jus straining myself..

and i called n called n called n called n called him. he didnt pick up my call..

i got more frustrated. wth.. im sick here and u're not even picking up?

den i realise, who the fuck am i to him? why the fuck does he have to bother if im sick or not?

but still i got no heart, i wanted to call him one last time.. if he doesnt, den tts it. no more calls to him.

den i call.. and guess wad he picked up. WOOOOOW!

i sounded angry. i asked, hey u busy?
n he said, ya... busy.. i call u ltr.
i said, u wont call. i noe. anyway, listen, im having a high fever.. and doc said its H1N1.( yes, i lied.. to see his reactions)
he said, aiyaa.. why suddenly..
i said, i duno.. tts why im been trying to call u from morning, but Mr.Asan doesnt want to bother.
he kept quiet.
i continued, anyway, even if i die oso, someone tried calling me from my hp oso, i guess u wont pick up and will nv noe tt im dead. i doubt tt u'll even come for my funeral..

and the reception sucked. and line got cut.

1/2 mins ltr, i called again, he actually cut my line. den i called again, it was in waiting line. wow.. for 5mins, den i called again, he cut my line..

i was like WAT THE FUCK MAN.

i scolded myself and said, ok Nas, one last last last time k? i promised myself. i called..

the line went on n on on.. till it cut itself.. i was like.. hmm.. tts it.. tts all the respect i got from him.

hes happy there.. MOVED ON edi.. why am i wasting my time for someone who'll nv be mine..

fine.. im moving on..

if i ever see him on the road, im gonna spit on his face.

i told Abdul bro this, and he was kinda proud of me.. :)

haiz...

Abdul Bro's 28th Bday!

2009-12-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

It was Abdul Bro's Bday
We went to Asan's shop at BP.
i noe the workers very well. we're kinda close.
Ibrahim was there.

surprised bro with a cake n with the spiderman n spongebob on the cake.. u'll see dem in the pics.

den aft eating, we went to clementi to play pool
Zakima n bro taught me hw to play..
haha!
sucked big time.
but yea, they were patient.
they made fun but was funny. i laughed at myself too.
hehe!

i was super tired n lazy, cancelled my tuition..

so aft pool, we headed back.

bro tot we were gg home, and his malay fren asked him where is he n wanna meet, he agreed.

so its ok, zakima n i wen YT, and we were talking and laughed while eating Chinese Rojak.

reached home at 10.10pm.

and here am i blogging. =)

2009-12-09T19:49:00.002+08:00

it is his wedding tdy

he got married at 1pm(singapore time)

its really depressing

love of my life, getting hitched to another gal.

);

whole of yday nite, i didnt slp.. cldnt slp..

haiz..

its all over now..

time to plan for my future..

:(

i called him at 10 plus am singapore time.

before hanging up, he said,
" Ma, this is the last call to u when im still single"

this is hw he constructed the sentence.

haiz..

he told me nt to cry n be really happy..

im thinking of opening a OCBC account.

2009-12-04T12:37:00.000+08:00

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle, when 24 Hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls…

He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar..! He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf ball. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - family, children, health, Friends, and Favourite passions - Things that if everything else was lost and only they! Remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things - that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else - The small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So…

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. ‘Take care of the golf balls first — The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’

One of the students raised her hand and! Inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. ‘I’m glad you asked’.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’

2009-12-03T21:54:00.000+08:00

Day 5

went to watch new moon with Fathima!

movie was ok la.. if u read the book, u'll noe why it ended this way..

we had mac for breakfast, and KFC for lunch.

went to school to eat. we were early..

we tok abt all sorts of stuffs.

it was Jansy's class.
we were to present last week's wrk..

and it took like an hr?

and aft tt, she talked n talked n talked and lesson ended.

suppose to go for BNL tuition, but rahima called and asked me to come with my family n her out to tekka n ION.

and i cancelled the tuition!

cos, its like, my mom, 3 bros, SIL and rahima always going out, and im left out, cos i got wrk or class.

i feel so sad.. tt im not included..

and makes me feel as if im married.

i'll be staying with my husband wad. but they'll be together no matter wad..

sad la..

but didnt enjoy much, i was into my own world. dreaming at the lights and taking pics n etc. hehe..

of cos i was with dem..

Boyy was shopping with his bro's family.. and told me to call at 1am..

i called, i sounded real sick yday.

den aft talking, i slpt.

2009-12-02T21:52:00.002+08:00

Day 4

supposed to be OFF DaY!!!!!!!! but had Celina's make up class.

Fathima is on MC tdy too..

time dragged.

called boyy at 12midnight again..

talk for awhile.. he said, hes really bored.

told me to slp, and he wants to slp too..

didnt talk much..

blahh...

2009-12-01T23:58:00.001+08:00

Day 3

ahh.. i kinda regretted going to the movies with Prabz.

i noe he is my fren for 4 years nw.

he reads me like a book like Boyy.

but his feelings for me didnt go down.

unlike Boyy, Prabz has seen me growing up.

from childish and bubbly to matured and still childish and bubbly gal.

he has seen me down, seen me wen im happy,

seen me getting used electrical engineering.

he isnt there..

we dun meet up.

we chat in msn.

once in a while call n tok,

and we can talk everyone under the sun

while i got attached and lost the interest of him being my bf,

he still hasnt done tat.

we went on for 3mths wen i was 17,

break off cos of religion matters.

jus recently,

he confessed that, he still loves me.

as im the perfect gal for him.

i made this strong n clear, that i'll nv convert for him.

Allah is who I LOVE the most.

and he noes tat.

sometimes, he tries talking dirty, but i'll jus change the subject.

but............................

we met at jurong at 10.30am, and the movie's at 11am.

we manage to seat in the cinema at 11.20am. jus missed 2/3 mins of the show.

the movie was great. jus bits of touching scenes.

soon the theatre became cold.

he started hugging me. i was like oiii

he realise i was like pushing him away.

and he didnt touch me at all.

he had tt intention of doing some dirty stuffs.

argh.

promised myself:

NOT TO GO OUT WITH HIM
NOT TO TALK TO HIM SO MUCH.

arrrgh!

such an ass!

arggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

oh.. i got reminded of my Boyy :(

actually, wen we go to threatres, once we sit down, he'll put his head on my shoulders.

den somehow, he'll try to find my lips in the dark.
sometimes end up kissing my nose.

and we'll giggle very loudly.. haha..

haiz.

i got reminded of him.
:(

i cried.
:(

immediately, aft the movie, i called Boyy.

he cancelled my calls 4 times.

i lost my appetite in eating :(
but Prabz forced me to eat.

we ate ayam penyet.
super nice.

i rmb going with Boyy once and Zakima once.
i miss this both.

den i give boyy a call again..

he picked up!
i cried aft hearing his voice.

told him i watched movie and got reminded of him

he told me not to worry and he'll be back.
i said, i really missed him alot. and he said he does too.

i laughed in between my tears and said, u dun sound like that.

he said, he really does, jus that he cant show his feelings, cos there are ppl around him.
told me to call tonite.

den i rushed off to school.

reached at 3.35pm. lecture still haven start. haha.

and the lecture ended at 4.35pm!

i love this lecturer for ending class early. and the lessons are interesting too. :)

wen home. no one was there.

mom, 3 bros, SIL, rahima, were at the beach without me.

see la, all got holiday, i still hv to go classes. :(

arnd 7.15pm, i left for my new tuition at boon lay.
K2 boy.
he is super hyper active.
he cant seem to concentrate
finally, he did some work.

b4 i left, he gave me packeted ice milo and blueberry cake.
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet

met abdul bro at JP.
he accompanied me to YT but got down at BB.

he had a call from his gf, and he ended up toking to her till BB.

but sweet of him to dress up and made himself presentable, jus to sent me home.

haha.
gundu.

bump into dad at YT. aiyo.

lucky bro not there.

we went NTUC, got crackers, coke, nuts and alot of stuffs.

i asked him, " party ah?"

he said, " no la.. just buy onli."

lol.

headed home together.

he asked, if im saving money or not. 2/3 yrs got wedding. i jus said, ya i've saved 6k

but i dun.

he was worried for me.

usual daddy sentiments.

showered, watched Boys VS Girls.

and called boyy at 11.58pm.

he said, hes really bored. and he got no mood.

he was really toking as if he's in singapore.

the usual pissed voice.

he said, its as if im with him nw.

haiz.

he said, ever since he came here, he got no mood. i asked whyyy.. ur wedding in 8 days time u noe.

he said, dun ask me why. i jus came here for my mom's sake. getting married for mom's sake.

:(

i pity him.

he said, he cooked nasi goreng ikan bilis for everyone. haha..

his mom loves singapore's indian mee goreng.

he asked, wad time im slping nwadays. and hws wrk n sch going..

he asked me to eat on time.

and enjoy my singlehood till he comes back.

aiyo.

My heart is aching
I cannot deny.
I'll never be able
to tell you good-bye.

I know it's so silly.
Why do I feel so sad?
Why does the thought of you leaving
make me feel so bad?

I will miss your arms
that hold me so tight.
I will miss your kisses,
miss holding you at night.

I will miss your laugh
and the way that you smile.
Even though you are leaving
for a very short while.

You've become a part of my life
like the sun and the moon.
I depend on you honey.
Please come back to me soon!

Take with you my heart.
Take our memories too
of the times that we've shared
and know I love you.

2009-12-01T00:40:00.003+08:00

meeting Prabz tdy,
to watch 2012!!!
@ GV Plaza!

Gonna watch New Moon with my longest buddy, fathima
on thursday 3/12/2009!!!
@ GV Tiong Bahru!

2009-11-30T20:59:00.003+08:00

ok its the 2nd day tt he has gone..

he didnt call me at all yday.. and today at 11am, he called but i wasnt in the room to pick up..

i called him back, he didnt pick up.

arnd 2pm plus almost to 3pm, he called.. he asked if im doing alrite.. and have eaten.. he sounded so casual as if hes toking to me in singapore.

he said, hes in the mosque, gg to pray and will call ltr..

i was like damn sad lor, tt he hang up fast. bum into Fathima at Dover.

we walk to class so slowly.

Poor gal was coughing badly. i totally lost my mood.. i had slight fever too. haiz..

Eileen's lesson was so draggy.. Belinda came to switch everyone's mood. hehe.

and she gave ALOT of assignments!

yet to dooooooooooooooooooo!!

had a call aft class from a agent from TuitionMe. i dun rmb signing up for it.

she asked if im interested to take up an assignment.

K2 reading and writing.

asked hw much i'll charge. i said $15 an hr and im a preschool teacher.

she liaised with the parents and confirm the assignment. starting it tmr itself.

tts $180 a mth. ok wad!

i'll get this pay, 4 days aft my pay day! weeeeee!

i asked Rashida Sis if she wanna continue. she replied, "ok, in 3 weeks time, i'll buy the books and u can continue."

she wants the boy to hv a break.. and hes having his Sunat before dec. so.. hahaaaaaaaaa!! OK SORRY.

$180 + $250 = $430

i can save my pay and spend on my tuition money. great rite!

inshaallah, everything will turn out well.

I called Boyy around 7 plus, and asked if he has eaten, and he said, yes and he cldnt call me cos he didnt hv a balance in his phone.

he asked if i cld buy a card and call him.. i said i'll..

but.. i duno if i shld. its like this, Prabz told me to stay away from him. cos hes not meant to be mine n etc.

i noe i shld do tt.. but hw? Ya Allah, help me!

2009-11-29T17:28:00.003+08:00

2009-11-29T17:27:00.000+08:00

Boyy has left Singapore to get married.
yday i met him, he came to my hse to give the pattirikke. i actually wen out and waited for him under the blk.
den went to queensway, to get his new shoes.
den went to tekka to collect his wedding suit ( i chose for him ).
den, we bought 2 veg set meal, when to the private place in lavender and we ate, toked, laughed, and finally i cried, he teared.. haiz.. i noe he sayang me alot. my eyes were super red.
den, time came to go back, he had to go bro hse in seng kang to put his new shoes and suit.
while the bus drove off, i saw him wiping his eyes.. :(

i took bus to lavender MRT.. i had alot of tears in my eyes. :(
when Redhill station came, i rmbered the path where i used to take during my poly days. sometimes even skipping classes. go to his hse and lepak, clean his hse, take care of him. make breakfast, lunch..
quarrel here n there..

we actually behaved like husband and wife.
and now, it seems as if, we divorced. and he is marrying another woman.

wallau.

while tt tot was in my mind, he called. :)
i told him abt it, and he said, " what can i do ma... i cant do anything.. "(

i took out my book and started distracting myself.

at cck, he called me and checked on me. i noe he really loves me alot.

i really put him out of my mind, once im home. but he called me nw n den, to ask me stuffs and to remind me that, he still exists.

i smsed me arnd 10pm plus, asking him to tk care, once in lifetime moment. be happy while marrying and etc.

but before i slp, tts wen it attacked me. i cldnt control my tears. i was behaving like a mad woman.

i was burying my face in the pillow, till i cant breathe.

i banged my head against the wall. i was strangling my winnie the pooh.

i was calling out for Boyy.. and finally, he called.

i sounded really distressed. and he was forcing me to say wad happen. i told him not to go.

i asked him to stay. i told him, i cannot tk it. the pressure is coming to me now.

he sounded very sad.. told me to stop crying. he cant do anything and i've to be brave n strong. he said, he too feel like crying and everything, but if he does, it'll affect me. he is trying not to show his emotions, if he does, i'll be like, seeeeee u too have tt feelings.. and etc.

haiz.

i slpt at 6am. cry n cry till i had headaches and sored eyes. he called me at 6am to say, he is on the way to his bro's hse with Ibrahim driving, go fetch the family and go airport. he was scolding me for not slping. and told me to slp and will call wen hes abt to tk the flight.
i said ok and i slpt. haha. immediately.

he called at 8 smth am, and said, hes going off nw.. and asked me to tk care. he has given my number and account number to ibrahim, anything, ibrahim will call me, and will transfer money every week. haiz..

we were kinda quiet suddenly.. and he said, "ma, i'll cry soon.. i think i'll hang up and go.." i said ok, and told him to tk many pics of him n his wife and etc. he said ok.

den aft a while i got ready for tuition. den on the way, he called me again. haha.. he said, he got inside the plane.. and asked if i can hear the announcement.
told him to eat alot in the plane.. and ask for all types of juices and etc.
den he laughed n said, they onli providing tiger. i said, den drink la.. np.
he said, "ohh.. previously, wen i joked saying i want to drink, u scream at me.. nw can la.. why ah?"
i said, " cos u're not mine anymore."
he said, " wahh.. like tt edi la.. fineeeeeeeeeee laaaaaa.. i go n nv come back. "
i said, " so wad nw, threatening ur 1st wife is it?"
he said, " oops sorry 1st wife madam"
i said, " haha.. ok rmb ah, tk pic of ur wife.. i wanna see.. and bring back the wedding video.."
he said, " sure sure.. i tink i cannot tok edi.. i call u once i come back."
i said, " huh come back? to sg???????"
he said, " no my sweetest idiot, once i touch down in India"
i said, " ohhh.. ok.. have a safe journey! love u!"
he said, " (sadly") love u with all my heart and strength.. "
i said, " byeeeeeeee"
he said, " bye da."

at least, i sounded happy and ok wen hes leaving.. but i wasnt... haiz..

abdul bro, smsed me asking wad im doing n etc.
shila was smsing me too..

den boyy smsed.. " ma the flight is moving now :(
den i replied.. " why sad? tt u cant drive the plane? other ppl paavam la.. dun hv tt kind of cruel intentions can? its ok da.. i'll be fine. u dun worry abt me. its God's will. for our good. we'll be frens even if we cant be together as a couple. u take care of urself. "
den he replied.. " ma.. im crying.."
den i replied.. " u wan me to cry oso rite.. den cry.. go ahead and cry.."

and he nv replied...

guess the plane took off.. :(

haiz..

it was 9.21am. and he reached india at 2.10pm (sg time)

he called me to say, he reached.. and asked why cant call from his sg line.. edi activated. so checked and etc. den he called back to ask and, i called starhub again to ask another qn.. den till nw, im waiting for him to call me.. nw its 5.21pm.

guess he cldnt find a payphone to call or he edi took a bus to his village.

4 days ago, he told someone in his village to get a prepaid card for him.. and he edi passed me the number. told me to miss call him n he'll call me back. promised him tt i wont buy any call back cards to tok to him..

haiz....

i was super happy to hear his voice...

nw currently, i dun miss him yet. im feeling normal. but if i tink abt the times we spent together, theres a sharp pain in my heart, and tears start to gather in my eyes. or if i look at any pictures we took together, the same thing happens.

im trying to get myself distracted. like preparing for term 1, watching tv, playing with aziz, etc.

haiz.. he said, he'll call me everyday, and theres no chances of me missing him..

actually ah, its good tt he said, i cannot buy cards to call him. if he calls.. it shows tt he thinks abt me. hehe.. but cannot la.. i cannot think tt way la..

aiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

the whole world noes that i love him dearly.

the end.

2009-11-08T01:04:00.000+08:00

When I text you, that means I miss you. When i don’t text, that just means i’m waiting for you to miss me.

hurts

2009-11-08T01:03:00.001+08:00

He msged me online tdy and said, " I Missed You "

2009-11-08T00:59:00.000+08:00

EVER HAVE that one person in your life that you just can’t give up on; the one person who can screw you over and over, time after time, yet you always seem to give them another chance? And no matter how many times you say this is the last one, you know that’s a lie because there’s always just one more chance waiting for them. The one person you know you’re better off without but yet you can’t find a way to let them go because deep down inside, you wouldn’t know what to do without them. The one person you know who doesn’t deserve you, but yet you choose to over look it because you love him.

I want to be hard for you to forget. I want to have that kind of impact on you where you know you’ll never find anyone who can take my place, and I want that because that’s what you are to me. I want it to hurt like hell when you see me. I want you to feel what you put me through.

2009-11-08T00:55:00.004+08:00

2009-11-08T00:54:00.003+08:00

My Birthday

2009-11-08T00:48:00.000+08:00

Your date of conception was on or about 7 October 1987 which was a Wednesday.

You were born on a Wednesday
under the astrological sign Cancer.
Your Life path number is 7.

Your fortune cookie reads:
Your past success will be overshadowed by your future success.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 4 & 22.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 9.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 3, 6, 8 & 11.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2447341.5.
The golden number for 1988 is 13.
The epact number for 1988 is 11.
The year 1988 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/17/1988 and ending 2/5/1989.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Dragon.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Woodpecker; your plant is Wild Rose.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Paopy, the second month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 14 Tammuz 5748.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 15 Tammuz 5748.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.15.2.17 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 15 tun 2 uinal 17 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Wednsday, 14 Dhi'l-Qa'dih 1408 (1408-11-14).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 3 April 1988.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 10 April 1988.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 17 February 1988.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 22 May 1988.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 29 May 1988.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Monday, 12 September 1988.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Saturday, 2 April 1988.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 16 February 1988.

June 29th is the feast of Oggun (St. Peter).

As of 11/7/2009 11:50:11 AM EST
You are 21 years old.
You are 257 months old.
You are 1,114 weeks old.
You are 7,801 days old.
You are 187,235 hours old.
You are 11,234,150 minutes old.
You are 674,049,011 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:

Fred Grandy (1948)	Richard Lewis (1947)	Gary Busey (1944)
Robert Evans (1930)	Slim Pickens (1919)	Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900)

Top songs of 1988

Roll with It by Steve Winwood	Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison
One More Try by George Michael	Look Away by Chicago
Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley	Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses
Anything for You by Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine	Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car by Billy Ocean
Man In the Mirror by Michael Jackson	The Flame by Cheap Trick

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.053228962818 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your lucky day is Monday.
Your lucky number is 2 & 7.
Your ruling planet(s) is Moon.
Your lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th.
Your opposition sign is Capricorn.
Your opposition number(s) is 8.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 234 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 22 candles.

Those 22 candles produce 22 BTUs,
or 5,544 calories of heat (that's only 5.5440 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.51 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1988 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1988 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1988 in the US there were 2,389,000 marriages (9.7%) and 1,183,000 divorces (4.8%)
In 1988 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1988 the population of Australia was approximately 16,687,082.
In 1988 there were approximately 246,193 births in Australia.
In 1988 in Australia there were approximately 116,816 marriages and 41,007 divorces.
In 1988 in Australia there were approximately 119,866 deaths.

Your birth flower is ROSE

Your birthstone is Alexandrite

The Mystical properties of Alexandrite

Alexandrite can assist one in centering the self, reinforcing self-esteem, and augmenting ones ability to experience joy.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Pearl, Moonstone, Opal

Your birth tree is

Apple Tree, the Love
Of slight build, lots of charm, appeal and attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.

There are 48 days till Christmas 2009!
There are 61 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was full.

2009-11-08T00:47:00.000+08:00

i re-read all the entries written in the past and i ask myself what went wrong? when everything seemed to fall in its place.

it’s time to just let go. i’m tired of pleasing people. i’m tired of hoping. i don’t have enough hope to keep my hope alive.

each time, you come gushing back into my mind. i tell myself it’s no point cause he’s out there, moving on. why do i still linger around nothing? then i realize, everything happened within a few blinks, too sudden, too soon. i haven’t been able to pick the pieces yet because i’m still waiting over nothing. my almost-nothing-hope. because my love hasn’t vanished the way it vanished for him. i wish it would vanish in a second. then maybe i wouldn’t remember how it’ll be like to be with him.

it’s easier to say, stop brooding. move on. if i could, i will. i will - happily. i don’t want to be the foolish one. i’m trying hard to let go. i will.

after all this writing, all this little determination. when i wake up in the morning, the cycle will repeat itself - more tears, more thoughts, more frustration, more waiting.

2009-11-08T00:45:00.000+08:00

do you ever get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody? You don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy but at the same time you don’t know exactly what’s wrong either, there isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being alone never was. At least when you’re alone no one constantly asks you what’s wrong and there isn’t anyone who won’t take “I don’t know” for an answer. you feel the way you do just because. you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.

2009-10-29T00:25:00.001+08:00

i want a guy tats going to make me laugh, not jus every nw and den,
someone tat can keep a smile on my face and somehow turn every situation
into a funny one. i wan a guy tats not afraid to be totally stupidwith me.
someone tat'll tk me outside wen its raining and jus start kissing me. i
want a guy tats nt afraid of wad i wear. he wont care if i wear my
pajamas, or dun put make up on every day of the yr. someone tat no
matter wad will always think im beautiful, inside and out. a guy tat respects
my values and noes i wont lower dem for him, or anyone else. someone
tt wont call me at 3am in the morning drunk confessing his love. i want
someone tt will stay up until 4 in the morning with me cos im scared of
the thunderstorm. someone tt will come to my hse and surprise me with
flowers jus cos its Monday. he'll tk me to concerts, and he'll jump up
and down with me and jus act crazy. A guy tt wld drive 2 hrs if it
meant he cld spend the day with me. wen i go thru a tough time all ihave to do is call him n he'd come over just to mk me feel better.if i
cant slp, he'll stay up on the fone with me untill i fall aslp. he'l listen to
me, and he wont judge me or my frens. he'll noe tt there are certain
times wen i need my space, and i'll noe to let him hv fun with the guys. a
guy tt noes im scared to death of dogs, he'll make fun of me for it, but if i
ever see one in real life, he'll noe all he has to do is hold me.a guy
tt will watch scary movies with me even though i'll be scared out of my
mind. he'll laugh at me for screaming and covering my eyes, and den he'll
hold my hand and kiss my forehead. i jus wan someone who'll be there
for me, someone to care abt me. someone to laugh with..

i actually found this someone... but...... hes not gonna be mine...
:(

this poem/words are written based on him.. and his character and his attitude towards me...

haiz.........

2009-10-28T21:17:00.011+08:00

Swimming @ Bakit Batok CSC!

Children's Day Outing with my little ones

he reminded her of V star Vignesh

lunch timeee
kidnapping on process..
pursuading the big guy to join us..

We smile same same ah.. We look same same ah..

KIDS

the whole grpy

NaZaki

2009-10-28T00:41:00.007+08:00

Children's Day Pot Party on 1st October 09!

2009-10-28T00:36:00.002+08:00

Future Tooth Missing Policeman

2009-10-28T00:21:00.005+08:00

Dinner @ Teh Terik @ JW on 27th Sept 2009

retardeds.. taking pic infront of me.. im in green

2009-10-27T23:14:00.011+08:00

My Pictures Which Was Once Missing, Are Found In My Camera..

Mystery..

RAYA DAY 2

My Bro's Besties and the sister

Yukta, Abhi, Vishal & Aziz

His best of best fren.. the chubby one.. Abhi
(damn cute la he)

Getting ready to play fire crackers

Hes holding my hand.. haha

Still holding my hand...

He didnt even think abt letting me go.. haha.. he's scared

is tt really me? im slim! omg

My HERO!

Abhi and his sister, yukta

1/4 of it

Getting excited over fire

Tried doing something.. :S

Look at the 3 behind.. tsk tsk..

I was playing and he was trying to snatch from me..

The balloon doesnt want to get bigger..

Poser
(bear with me, this woman will appear many times in this post)

wonder why he so happy

Aft playing crackers all ran home, while i walked... and they locked me outside..

The 1st Lady in my life..
Mommy.. i Love u many many

Test Shot.. hehe

They love me
(too much!)

She was UNDRESSING

Getting ready to attend her colleague's wedding
(Make up by me & Zakima)

Tried to imitate her
(i look like a ghost sia)

My twin.
(i look wierd)

the Sis In Laws
(BEWARE)

Finally ready

The Trio
(ones whom i love dearly!)

Part Of the Women
(I wonder why im standing legs apart!)

Part Of the Men

Bro & SIL's Bro

My Bro and Sis In Law and her Side

aft tt, no one wanna tk pics.. haha..

B0yy, Vinod came.. and soon aft, Abdul bro and Hasir came.. and B0yy and vinod left..

Bro and hasir stayed till 11pm.. :)

Love u guys..

Raya Day 2

2009-09-29T22:45:00.002+08:00

Day 2...

Its our 3 years anniversary.. and it was his off day! :)

been very long since we spent time ALOT AND ALONE..

Only time we hv time alone is while travelling in the taxi to amk or bm.

he was with me from 11am to 11pm! more den enough..

it was so casual. we both noe its our anniversary. jus a normal fone wish at 12am.

and he said.. so tmr u going anywhere? and i said, yea, with my darling. so can u spare at least an hour for me..

he said, hmm... nt to sure, i'll be out with my darling too.. onli an hr rite? she wont mind. sure.

and i said, idiot.

den we hang up..

we met on Raya's 2nd day.

we've been to many places. and we had no idea where to go.

We headed to BBDC 1st. booked our tests and lessons. den we took the bus BB opp in headed to Mac beside West Mall.. they were giving free COKE ZERO near Traffic light.

jus for the fun of it, boyy and i went few times to tk the drink. kiasu..

heeeeeeeeheeeeee.

Whacked Macdonald for $40. haha.. filet, mcspicy, nuggets, d-cheeseburger, 3 large fries, and free COKE ZERO, 2 choco sundaes, 2 mcfurry.. haaaaaaa!

we were laughing n eating and everything jus went in n in n in n in. hahaha..
whack so much aft one month of fasting.. tsk tsk..

den we went window shopping at westmall.. den went to the cinema, watched Blood ties.

omg, it not scary but, gruesome. N18!

den aft movies, went to JW, his hse, its my cousin sista's hse's common room tt he is renting..he felt uncomfy and wanted to change, i waited at the bus stop and den we headed to amk in bus. omg. tooooooooooooooooook so long.

its the tibs bus, we sat rite at the back, got crowded very fast.. we were so hyper, laugh n being noisy, and wen Boyy rested his head on my shoulder,

no sound.

i whispered to him, "are u dead?"

he giggle. he really did.

den he was aslp. veryyyyyyy fast le..

for one bloody hour, i sat there not moving. i didnt want to wake him up.. it was so bumpy tt i fall aslp too.. woke up at marsiling mrt and we got down n took train to amk n bus to the shop..

within mins we left and headed to tekka.. ate again. lol
ordered some spices n groceries and we took the cab to bukit merah.. we put the things we bought den we took the bus n train back home...

and we had our own time too...

wenever we're alone, he'll always be saying hes gonna regret his life aft december la.. hes unlucky cos hes marrying another gal la.. and things will always be the same forever between me n him la.. and he really loves me..

oh my...

no words to say.

My B0yy outside West Mall, Smoking before heading to JW..

duno la, jus love his smile.

Raya Day 1

2009-09-29T22:11:00.005+08:00

Raya Day 1

D` Ladies

D` Gentlemen
D` Baby
Bro and Sis In Law, Receiving Gifts from SIL's parents. their 1st Raya

4 got to tk pics in the rest of the hses. haha

The Day Before Raya :)

2009-09-29T21:40:00.006+08:00

The Day Before Raya :)

Mom's Slpy Face

Lights @ Balcony!
Bro Tired Aft Work
Elmo no.1 Ready for Raya
Elmo no.2 also waiting for raya. Elmo's fan of Spongebob
Mom's Butter/Marble Cake!
Jelly and Cookies!
Cookies!!
New Carpet in the hall!
Bros and dad down with fire crackers! *retarded faces*
Angry that he cant light up himself
YAY!
Posing

Chinese Joss Stick Style
Mr. Good Boy

2009-09-12T00:03:00.002+08:00

21st sept 2009.

2nd day of raya.

3 yrs anniversary.

hmm.

mom has invited him on tt day.

but.

he wants to go out with me on tt day.

how.

im scared.

december is nearing.

i wanna go away.

draw a line.

stop meeting him often.

stop toking too much.

i cant.

he cant.

the feeling is so.

haiz.

again back to square 1.

we've been thru this.

again.

and.

again.

been thru all the cryings.

and we get back together.

den.

prob arise.

cry again.

haiz.

2 days ago.

i was crying to him.

that.

my parents.

want me to marry off faster.

so that.

my 2nd bro and rahima.

can take my room.

its like im so unwanted.

if not.

they want to get a 5 room flat.

and i've to pay them monthly $500.

for staying in the room.

am i a tenant?

i duno what they thinking.

sometimes.

they're super nice.

sometimes.

they're like this.

what can i do.

i call him.

i cried.

told him.

i got no one.

even he is going away.

first.

i got scolded by him for crying.

second.

he said he'll be there forever.

and i said.

my bro.

who we tot, he wldnt change aft marriage.

is change.

wldnt u change after marriage?

your promises all will turn down?

he said no.

he said he loves me alot.

and i cried again.

what to do.

i've tried my best.

i let him go.

but he came back.

i feel like screaming my head off.

been thru this so many times.

but still cant solve the prob.

i pray to god everyday.

ask Him to give me the permission to be with Boyy.

till the end.

i still haven get the answers yet.

yes or no.

if no.

i want to know whos there for me.

haiz.

i've to be patient.

but for nw.

B0yy's my life.

part of me.

haiz.

Asan Gani.

i love you.

2009-09-11T23:49:00.002+08:00

nama je holiday, tapi ada skool. argh.

jus realise, holidays are meant for STUDENTS.
STRICTLY.

teachers come back to prepare for the term ahead.
sucks man.

Monday & Tuesday went back to school.
Deco the classes according to the theme,
help principal run some errands.

Mahmuda buay me on tues.
she didnt turn up.

e New principal isnt bad at all..

oh wells..

Wed n thurs,
slpt like pig. till 11am

no one disturbed.

Aziz was down with H1N1 like symtoms.
so scary.
he slpt alot. and vomited too!

wen i had those symtoms, at least i cld SAY,
my back hurts n etc.

but small boy cldnt.
was really sad.
i was sponging him so much.

haiz.. my little one..

anyway, hes fineeeeeeeee! we're going swimming tmr!

haha.

When for meeting in the morning.
planned abt K2 Grad's day.

im incharge of Ushering and designing the tix.

my ctr peeps volunteered me. basket.

cos i came out with a very nice (said by my ctr staff) certificate for sport's day
and
designing the parents' bulletin board outside the classroom

aiyo.
i did many stuffs there la..
like drilling, painting, mopping, washing, teaching, laughing, slping, relaxing, lazing,
all the -ings.

went to see B0yy at his amk shop.
didnt see him for 3 days. haha
achievements.

he made me stay 12noon till 9.30pm.
i chatted with him, his cooks and everyone in the shop.

duno why i always get clicked with everyone.

im toking alot?
too friendly?
haha..
B0yy said i had the look.
i spit at him. like wad onli.

came back home.

rested.

nw blogging.

my adket course starting on 5 Oct.

ah.. duno wad to write edi..

2009-08-31T22:50:00.001+08:00

At kindergarten, teacher becomes a substitute for mother.
The teacher takes care of the students and treats them as her own children.
When they grow older, teacher assumes the role of an instructor, who guides his/her students to become a good person and instills moral thoughts in them.
When the students are capable to stand on their own feet, the mentor assists them to reach all the milestones and accomplish all the goals set for life.
During the formative years of life, teacher showers immense love and affection upon his/her students, in return of which he/she expects nothing but appreciation.

Teacher's Day is a wonderful occasion to reciprocate the love and affection shown to you,
by your teacher.

This is for my Kids...

With students like you, teaching is easy
I look forward to each day;
Your wondering minds keep me on my toes;
You make teaching more like play. Students like you make teaching rewarding;
When I go home, I’m content;
You pay attention, you learn—giving me
A sense of accomplishment. Thank you for being the way you are,
For making my job so much fun.
I’ll remember how good you made me feel,
Even when my teaching is done.

2009-08-30T17:44:00.002+08:00

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! the Teacher's Day is nearing!

received presents from quite a few devils and my tuition kids gave me some too.. well.. yet to be uploaded! :)

We teachers plus the Exco members gonna dine at Kintamani Restaurant. not sure which branch.. gonna whack ahhhhh!!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

2009-08-23T22:55:00.002+08:00

Fasting Started on 21st Aug ( 2yrs 11mths Anniversary :)

Went for the 1st terawih.. was exciting.. but, my body was cramped the next day.. lucky it was a saturday..

1st day of fasting was really tiring..

went for Nad's tuition at bedok, aft tt went to B0yy's shop.. he made me stay.. so came up with a lie to mom and stayed with B0yy.. br0ke fast t0gether! :)

we had, R0ti J0hn, chicken Murtabak and porridge from the mosque and not 4getting Mango Juice. oh my..

whoooaaah.. fulllll!

stayed till 9.15pm and headed back home..

tdy, i had slight fever and i lost my voice.. skipped bbedc tuition and slpt 11am.. heeeeeee!

when i told boyy im not coming to his shop tdy, he didnt believe me..
cos for few days, i've been telling him, ok tmr i not coming. everyday see ur face.. not nice la.. lol..

so wen i told him tdy, he tot i was playing again..

den he got very very sad when i told him i was serious. poor guy.. but ah.. he kept calling n toking to me, as if im beside him. aiyoo..

den before mom left the shop, he took order from me. haha..

called me and asked, "Ma, what u want for break fast? " i said Mac.. he prevented himself from cursing. den i asked my fav dish which he cooks damn nice,

Nasi Goreng Ikan Bilis..

slpt for awhile.. till time for mum mum..

ate abit, but was damn full.. den prayed.. and gt ready for terawih at teck whye mosque.

tdy was fast.

bro drove. came home early too.. before 10pm.. den ate abit more.. nw, blogging.

aft this, gonna slp..

tmr is the 1st day of school in fasting mth.. duno hw im gonna survive..

inshyaallah..

:)

2009-08-23T22:48:00.000+08:00

glitter-graphics.com

2009-08-06T21:57:00.002+08:00

Tdy, K2 Kids had their graduation pictures taken at, Redhill Library. The staffs had their grp pics tooooooo!

i had mine with dem!!!!! hehe! 1st time tk staff pictures tgt!

met 2 old peeps who are being sponsored ADKET course like me.. we'll be going for the course tgt!

:)

tmr's national day celebration! weeeeeeeeeee!

Red and White!

2009-07-30T19:41:00.002+08:00

I joined Radin Mas PCF on 21st July 2009 as a Part Time Preschool teacher.
PCF is sponsoring me for

Advanced Diploma in Kindergarten Education — Teaching (ADKET)

I have wonderful colleagues around me.. the principal is wonderful too..

Im sort of "taken care" of by all the teachers. though each one of dem had hatred with another, they treat me like their very own..

since the 1st day, im mixing with the principal and teacher Mahmuda. 2 indian muslim peeps around. the rest are malays, one chinese language teacher..

mine's the morning K1 class and afternoon K1 is taken over by Mahmuda..

3 days ago, the princi, mahmuda and i, started changing one of the classes to language room. before it was a snack room. unused.

we painted and had fun..
the next day, Princi brought in her bro n his fren to help finish up the paintings..

that very day, i was down with a bad bad flu, i was sneezing badly..

still, i was joining in with the painting fun and took over my morning K1 class...

yday, all the kids are suppose t0 go to "Bollywood Veggie Farm"

some excursion...

i was super sick.. i knew i had fever.. but princi said, even sick oso u must come, we're lack of teachers..

Boyy was super angry tt i was going for work.

jus as i was walking towards the lift, princi smsed me if i was still sick.. i said ya.. and she said, den go see doc, dun come..

since i was out, i carried on going to polyclinic slowly.. i felt damn weak and tired..

upon reaching, the queue was superrrrrrrrrrrrrrr lonnnnnnnnngggggggggg!! omg!

the lady who takes the temp, asked me, "do u hv fever, flu, cough, sore throat?" as she was taking the temp..

i said, "err yea.. everything"

she was," huh wad? ok u go inside take ear temp"

and it was 39.6 deg. i was like omg omg omg!

i was den directed to a white tent, behind the polyclinic, over there oso got queue.. aiyoo..

i met my family fren's daughter.. her temp was 38.3 deg.. and she kept toking n toking n toking..

i rested my eyes while waiting for my no., she woke me up and said, " kakak, slpy ah?" i said headache and closed me eyes, jus to get away from her babblings n i was really weak to answer her..

few mins ltr, she tapped me and said, "kak, i oso feel slpy.." and i replied, "eh u really sick ah? where u get all these energy from la? aiyoo.. can u jus leave me alone? "

and tt was the last time i heard from her. LOL.

the mask was suffocating me.. already very hot, my breathe oso very hot.. put mask? wad will happen? mini spa on my face.. omg..

i told the lady, i have chest pains when i cough, and i got to see the doc asap.. weeeeeeee!

well it was the truth..

doctor gave me Tamiflu.. the most expensive medicine in polyclinic. $50.

total bill came up to $70.80. omg

1st time polyclinic medi cost so much..

Doc said i was suffering from Influenza like illness..

haiz..

1 week home quarantine..

he said it is still ok to go out, avoid crowded places.. wear mask..

its been 2 days im at home.. where to go out? too weak with fever.. haiz..

even this blog, half written yday, half tdy. haha

Principal called yday to say, the trip is postponed, and the old principal, who still haven leave is down wit fever n flu.. 5 days quarantine..

and she called MOE n MOH to report, and had to have a volunteery shut down of school.. omg..

i joined the work, within a week, i shut down the school.. haizz...

she also hv to call n ask my temp everyday till the quarantine is over...

Principal and her bro, is down with flu n fever.. ommmmmmmmgggggggggg!!!!!!!!!

tdy, fever went up in the morning.. afternoon, went down.. evening, nw, wen up.. haizzz..

i hate this feeling, im causing ppl around me sickness! haizzzzzzzzzzzzzz~

2009-07-24T20:40:00.003+08:00

RARE STUFFS NO. 1

B0yy d0esnt listen t0 english s0ng MUCH. if you recommend him a song, he'll listen, get the lyrics, and try to sing along.

he dun go searching for a song, UNLESS its a Tamil song.

and he emailed me this..

(copy & pasted)

Babe, tis is 4 u. I don no hw to tell u in words, but tis song is explaining wat is in my heart.

Im truly sorry. and i love u always.

-ur dearest ma.

i was like this;

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

made me tear..

in return, i send him this!!!!!

(copy & pasted)

to my dearest ma,

u dun hv to be sorry. it jus tt we aint fated to be tgt till end.
i love u always forever and ever and ever and ever and ever till my heart beat stops.

-ur dearest maaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

PS: jus think im referring the GF part to ur WIFE

wahahaha!

in middle of the emails, we were smsing n toking on the fone.. yet we communicate..
and he said, wahh, we really making use of the technologies ah..

lol..

if u see the border of the video, he sent me in my fav colour, i sent him in his fav colour.. hahahaaaaaaa!

and its the "theme"/"title" of my blog.. (:

2009-07-24T20:21:00.002+08:00

Greetings to earthlinks.

Started working as a PreSchool Teacher, and im l0ving it! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

l0ve the kids, l0ve the c0lleagues, l0ve the principal.

just that, aft wrk, i've to go tuitions (since im committed, and exams arnd the c0rner)

reaching h0me arnd 8pm to 9pm everyday.. and c0me h0me, eat, and i slp..

i'll be THAT tired.

m0m said, " n0w u understand MY tiredness "

i replied, " yes teacher m0mmy f0r 30years.."

i w0nder hw she survived.

met b0yy yday with m0m.. was half slping and t0king to dem. arnd 8pm, aft tuition.

B0yy said, aiyoo.. like this edi s0 tired ah, den if u having MY j0b hw la..

Like i said, i was half slping.

m0m answered f0r me.. "hey its n0t easy handling 25 kids and 0ne sh0t. each individual has their 0wn way 0f learning.. ur j0b is super easy, try teaching"

l0l.. B0yy kena hushed! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

0h, we g0nna 0pen the F00d stall bef0re Nati0nal Day and we're in the process 0f buying the sh0wcase n etc..

tdy was Racial Harm0ny day.. i w0re baju kurung.. surprisingly, all the teachers w0re BLACK.

the kids were l0vely.. i was kinda disapp0inted tt the kids didnt have a pr0gram.

back wen i was in preschool in Hasanah Kindergarten, even though its 1hr 30mins, we'll hv s0me singing n etc..

but tdy, settling d0wn t00k 30mins, tk attendance, sing anthem 15 mins. den 45 mins, get the kids to eat n prepare dem to get h0me.. i was like.. oh my...

guess, when i become permanent there, when i get to tk over a class.. im gonna propose to the principal alot of things..

Teacher Mahmuda, afternoon K1 teacher, she complains alot abt the way the lessons being taught.. i duno abt tt all la.. but, at least, make the kids' life interesting lor.. im gonna do smth abt it..

i vaguely rmb wad my kindergarten teachers will do and hw they'll teach n etc.. oh.. i got my mom with me.. why worry..

i took photo of my relief K2 morning class. lazy to upload la.. haha.. tk usb n put n etc. tired!

(excuse!)

tmr got phonics training.. all teachers need to attend, i dun hv to actually cos, its part of the montessori thingy tt they're learning but.. the other blk princi said, jus gain some knowledge. like i dun hv any..

oh ya.. i've to post my IC, Certs and etc to SP, part of the application for the course.. and the head admin will send the Annex C, her part.

i called to check if they've received it, they said NO. including the Annex C i was like, huh.. if onli my documents nv receive, can understand that it went missing, but Annex C too???? which was sent on a different day?

they said, they'll check n let me noe. 3 days, no calls, nth from dem. i called today, they said they receive it. omg. these ppl. nv let me noe at all.

came home, aft viewing maids with mom at bukit timah shopping ctr ( i soooooooo missed tt area ), i check email, they said, they nv get the photocopy of IC.

i was like, arrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

everything was sent together, if they received my CERTS, they SHOULD RECEIVE MY IC TOO.

aiyaa.. poor management or wad i duno la..

it jus irriates me n tis soooooooo troublesome.. haizzzzzzzzz....

oooooooooooorite.. im offfffff! byeeeeee~

2009-07-08T01:19:00.001+08:00

B0yy has been singing this part t0 me fr0m the time i met him tdy.. and he said, he really means it..

:)

yean piRandhaen endru naan irundhaen
unnai paarththavudan uNmai naanaRindhaen
ennuyiril nee paadhiyendru
un kaNmaNiyae naan kaNdukoNdaen
eththanai peNgaLai kadandhiruppaen
ippadi en manam thudiththadhillai
imaigaL iraNdaiyum thirudikkoNdu
uRanga cholvadhil nyaayamillai
nee varuvaayoa illai maRaivaayoa
yae yae yae yae yae
thannai tharuvaayoa illai karaivaayoa

2009-07-08T00:52:00.003+08:00

though got fever, i cant be staying at home everyday.. tts the sad part.. i've to go for tuitions, FYE nearing.. PSLE is nearing too :(

Fever reduced abit.. as usual, called b0yy den washed up, did hse wrk. m0m asked me t0 c00k Nasi G0reng f0r Aziz. and i did..

B0yy called t0 check 0n me.

den, fixed myself to the tv till 3pm, g0t ready f0r Marsiling tuition and left my hse at 3.30pm. Br0ught al0ng, my junior in sec school's radio-cd player-tape player. i b0rr0wed fr0m her wen i was 16 and she was 13. she stayed arnd my area, but wenever i see her and want to ask her when to return, she'd simply avoid me. duno why. problem child.

so since its not used, i LENT it to B0yy. 0ne day, i still hv t0 return her..

s0 aft tuiti0n, PAY DAY! went dh0by ghaut t0 meet B0yy. den changed 0ur mind in going PS and headed t0 Chinat0wn. while walking d0wn the street, we came acr0ss a jewellery sh0p, which sells g0ld and white g0ld and silver and stainless steel.

B0yy was s0 attracted t0 this bracelet, $560 which had 60% disc0unt.. the lady said, since u local i give u 70%. i was like whoaa.. $168.. i jus had my pay.. we intended to pay his rent and 0ther stuffs.. i said N0 t0 b0yy.. he sadly said ok.. and was drooling at it.. and i nv said no to wadever he likes n wants.. i pamper him sia.. hes spoilt!

i did wad my m0m d0es best, bargain.. i told the lady, "ok, last price $100" den she said, "ah.. ok wait i ask boss", who happened to come jus in time.. he see the original price and he said, okok can $100..

i l00ked at b0yy.. fr0m $560 dr0pped t0 $100.. wh0s he kidding.

i t0ld B0yy, its like KL's Chinat0wn, u can bargain damn l0w and they still give u.. c0s, they still get their profits. like my m0m b0ught a s0lid PRADA bag fr0m RM 170 t0 RM 30. My Burberry perfume is from RM 250 to RM 20.

and my br0's cuff buttons, which was 1 f0r RM 10 became 3 f0r RM 10..

B0yy was like, "ma.. s0mem0re can? " i gave him the, wh0s g0nna pay his r00m rent and other expenses look.. he said okok next time..

den we headed d0wn t0 temple street. 0mg, its been s0 l0ng since i last came here.. n onli KL's Chinat0wn (petaling street) is fresh in mind. the wh0le place l00k exactly like KL's!!!!!!!!!

n0w i miss being in KL.

bleah~

We had a free voucher 0f $68 fr0m popular.. We decided t0 t0p up $20 each t0 have "Tailor-Made For You" f0r $88 Service is g00d. and we b0th had 0ur facial d0ne. b0yy said, "Ma, must tk 0ut cl0thes ah? Ma, can d0 t0gether in the same r00m? Ma g0t guys d0 facial 0ne ah? "

l0l, 1st timer. hehehe.. im facial pr0.. i've d0ne s0 much facial, and tt lady wh0 did f0r me, asked me, ur face very clean ah, n0t much 0f white heads ah.. and b0yy wh0 was having his beside me, was making al0t 0f, ahhhh.. 0wwwww.. s0unds.. hehe.. she was tking th white n black heads 0ff his face. hahaa!

they made us tk a package, i edi warned B0yy tt they'll d0 this.. and if its reas0nable, den tk the package, if n0t n0.

we really liked the service and the friendliness.. but, we are sh0rt 0f m0ney. they were like s0 persistant sia.. den the b0ss wh0 did f0r me, finally said, theres n0 0bligati0ns. tts wen we manage t0 escape.

next timeeeee!

http://www.myspa.com.sg/index.php

aft the facial, b0yy l00ked pretty. i mean, cleaned.. weeeeee weeeeeeettt!

we were laughing and j0king al0t in the train back h0me..

l0ve ur c0mpany..
l0ve ur smile..
l0ve everything abt u..

we reached h0me with faces super clean. hehe!

and n0w, i start bl0gging and g0nna end..

0hh.. the radin mas PCF called me t0 ask me t0 submit my applicati0n f0r ADKET, Adv Dip in Kindergarten Education Teaching.

den if selected, i'll be hired by dem..

the SP lady said, i got all the qualities they need, and i'd be chosen.. so wait for the letter. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

2009-07-08T00:40:00.002+08:00

i was down with fever for 2 days! i wondered why..

aft going mediacorp, it was raining, got wet and tt nite, i was down with fever.. led to the next day. my parents worried alot.. and dad prayed and gave me some "prayed" water or holy water.

B0yy was blaming himself, for bringing me to mediacorp and disappoint me and now, got fever. gundu la tt boy..

i totally, didnt call him much yday..

n0rmally, 0nce i wake up, be it at 11am or wadever, i'll call. But, this time, he called arnd 9am, when he reached work. den i slpt back. arnd 10.30am woke up.. m0m was asking me t0 n0t m0ve much at h0me, jus rest.

but i did hsewrk, hand itchy. l0l.

sweep the floor, den cooked. m0m sent Aziz t0 school, and went JB with BBoy to repair PSP. dad was at h0me t0 "take care 0f me". his 0ff day.

i c00ked, Raasam and cabbage fry and fried egg. i was doing the last part, frying eggs when b0yy called t0 check 0n me.

He was like licking his lips, (cld hear!) when i said wad i cooked. he asked if anyone home or not, so tt he can rush over, eat and rush back to wrk. wahahaa..

den he asked me why i doing wrk all.. supp0se to rest.. blah blah blah.. naggggggggy! haha

aft i cooked, i showered in super cold water.. wass damn nice.. helps to reduce the temperature.. and oso i felt damn slpy, it was raining too.. shi0k..

i slpt aft praying Zuhur at 1.15pm till 6pm sia.. B0yy called, wrk jus ended. and he asked, "eh, are u in sg or overseas? where u disappear? normally will get at least smses from u wad.."

told him i slpt, and he was like relieved. gaaa~

its his pay day yday, he went back to HQ, waited from 6pm to 8.30pm, jus to get his salary from his boss, stoopid sia.

den he went home, and i washed up and etc, watched tv and slpt at 10pm.

buffalo. i noe.

2009-07-08T00:05:00.007+08:00

weeeeeee the pics are here!

Busy Listening to songs (last min. tsk tsk)

Still got time to pose. aiyoo! Zakiyah and B0yy

Me N Him

Busy telling him hw to be relaxed and etc.. CANDID sia. look at my mouth.. aiyo!

Posing! He looks nice in this side view. Vstar in the making, chey chey

im wearing his shades, hes wearing my specs.

He looks smart. (NERD!! :) I look weird. too big for my face..

I was doing the, " adiyaathi " hand sign and Zakiyah was so impressed tt she made me do again n snapped me..

He was dreaming..

Posing before going in..

We werent all0wed t0 enter, unless we're auditioning. we were waiting like 4 hrs for him.. hes sitting at the chair at the table (back facing)

Clearer abit.. he was kinda far from where we stood..

We were snapping away, while waiting for OUR Star :)
Duno wad i'd hv been doing if she didnt accompany me.. bored to death i guess..

He rushed out aft getting his no. tag and his f0rm, last minute asking blessing from me. haha.. he was damn tensed tt he said he wanna see me.. haha.. fat B0yy

Registration f0rm and number tag!

The date 0f auditi0n

Me and My Fav Star!

Zakiyah and her Fav Star Br0!

Mediacorp Toilet.

Corridor near the entrance of the audition. bright ah.. look at the highlight on my nose.

The banner!
beside tt is the entrance..

oh.. aft snapping this pic, Zakiyah accidently dr0pped her hp.. and the fone died. seriously..

cant expect tt im a big star? come on la zakima, truth hurts rite!
wahahahahaaaa

she cldnt on but till she got home at 7!
from 2 pm plus! haha..
untill i was out of her sight
wahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaa

2009-07-06T01:24:00.004+08:00

i was listening t0 this s0ng in my lappy and this s0ng came.. and the last part, made me sad..

Kannimaigal Kai Thattiye Unnai Mella Azahkiradhey
Un Seviyil Vizha Villaya Ullam Konjam Valikirathey
Unnarage Naan Irundhum Unmai Solla Thunivu Illai
Kaigalile Viral Irandhum Kaigal Korka Mudiyavillai
Unnai Enakku Pidikkum Adhai Solvadhil Thaane Thayakkam
Neeye Sollum Varaikkum En Kadhalum Kaathu Kidakkum
Dhinam Dhinam Kanavil Vandhu Vidu
Nam Thirumana Azhaipidhaz Thanthu Vidu

Direct Translation :

Eye lashes are shutting( as in clapping ) t0 s0ftly call u.
My heart hurts not be in ur shadow,
though im near u, i dun hv the braveness to tell u the truth.
though i've fingers in my hand, i cant be hand in hand with u.
I hesitate to say, I Like You, to u.
My love will wait till u say it.
Everyday, come into my dreams
Give me the invitation of Our wedding

This part is fr0m 3.22 to 4.03 mins. if u duno the language/song, jus read my rough translation in english and play from 3.22 and jus fit the words/thinking inside, every pause is one sentence. and it'll be obvious. eye lashes shutting, she'll be blinking.. and the fingers part, she'll be interlocking her fingers.

Vasantham Star 2009

2009-07-06T00:43:00.005+08:00

went t0 vstar auditi0n at mediac0rp, f0r B0yy with Zakiyah..

it was a tense m0ment f0r B0yy.. his hand was super shaky bef0re entering t0 register!! we reached there at 12pm, and he came 0ut at 3.45pm, s0 l0ng siaaaaaa!

lucky i had zakiyah, if n0t i'd have died in b0red0m. l0l. and,

B0yy didnt make it.

the 20 ppl infr0nt 0f him, all cldnt make it. even in the news, they said, this time its g0nna be t0ugh.

yea wad d0 u expect;
1st vstar, Shabir, wh0 had a unique v0ice, entered by public v0tes.
2nd vstar, Ebi Shankara, wh0 dun even n0e hw t0 c0nstruct a full tamil sentence, w0n by public v0tes t00, and he l0ves shaking his butt, literally.
0f c0s, n0w, they wanna make it seri0us.

B0yy said b4 entering, he jus wanna try it 0ut, nv get nvm..

he came 0ut smiling.
zakiyah kinda fall f0r it tt he w0n..
but i n0e tt, tt b0yy will smile even th0ugh he l0st. tts him. l0l.
gd sport. heeee!

but i was super disapp0inted.

while he wasnt having tt much 0f aftermath.
seri0usly, i expected him t0 get thru. the expectation of the judges was very high. i tried keeping it aside and happy tt he still can try next time. but i cnt. but s00n, i g0t distracted and i was 0k edi.

and it started t0 rain heavily wen he came 0ut, we waited awhile and started walking wen it slightly drizzled.
half way, it p0ured like ppl urine sia.
den g0t shelter under a tree! 0mg. den we heck care and walked under the rain t0 the bus st0p.

t00k t0 BB.
and it was freezing in the busssss!!
ate at the chicken rice stall..
den went t0 west mall t0 l00k arnd and zakiyah headed back 1st.
she had prayers at hm.

b0yy and i hang arnd at harvey n0rman.
they having sale sia..
b0yy b0ught a
samsung TV f0r $499, UP: $1099
tt TV, has PC output.
tt means, he can hv tt as a Desktop Monitor.
COOL SHIT
s00n, gtg t0 Sim lim t0 get CPU and Keyboard and m0use.
weeeeeee!

and b4 we b0ught the TV,
he went t0 sm0ke again..

sm0ke n sm0ke n sm0ke, 0ne day die. bec0me spirit and c0me t0 me and ask f0r my 4giveness. stupid sm0king ass-ed guy.
s0rry,
it jus pissed me wenever he sm0kes. and if he d0esnt sm0ke, he'll get al0t 0f temper, and i get it.
NEXT AVAILABLE PERSON: NASEERA BANU!
yay!
he'll literally call n sc0ld u n0e. basket.

s0 anyway, aft he SM0KED! he suddenly grabbed my face and said,
"Ma, why u have s0 much trust 0n me?"
i oredi pissed tt he sm0ked s0 many times tdy, i jus l00ked at him and said,
" HUH, WHAT? WHAT TRUST?"
he smiled. l0l. he said,
" i n0e, u're much m0re disapp0inted den me, tt i didnt win. i didnt want t0 make u disapp0inted, i wanted t0 make u pr0ud. i d0wan t0 give u any m0re disapp0intment. i cant bear u getting disapp0inted.."

i said, "disapp0inted disapp0inted disapp0inted disapp0inted (imitating the way he said), u 0k 0r n0t, where u g0t "disapp0inted" me b4?"

he l00ked away, n said,
"pr0mised u tt i'd marry u............................................"

i said, " ehh.. shhh.. dun say like tt.. its n0t ur fault. we're n0t meant t0 be t0gether as a husband and wife, at least we're tgther as frens rite? and u didnt win in vstar, isnt in ur hands t00. u sing well. the w0rld n0es tt. maybe its n0t ur time n0w.. aiy0.. disapp0inted disapp0inted disapp0inted"

He said laughing, " i really like u alot.. "
and he gave a peck on my lips.
i was like
whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
aft like s00000 many days? aft like 2/3 mths!!!!!
i g0t a kiss fr0m him!!!!!!! weeeeeeeee!

0h well.. i was like kinda screaming s0ftly, and he laughed and smacked me hard 0n my arm.
damn..
happiness disappeared immediately. basket.

den we b0ught the tv and headed h0me.
and hes staying in my female c0usin's hse, Gina akka's hse. her br0 came 0ver, David br0.
and he's int0 music t00. end up Br0 n B0yy were t0king abt musics and etc f0r damn l0ng.

den he called me, t0 c0mplain,
"waaaah, t0k 0k la..
but t0k n t0k n t0k n t0k, N0T 0K LAHHHH!"

den he asked me abt the f00d stall n etc, and i was telling him wad t0 d0 and my opinions and i was impressed tt he didnt interupt me.
0nce i was d0ne t0king he said, " N0 w0nder, ur br0 0s0 like this."
i said, " like wad? "
he said, " like u la.. t0k n t0k n t0k. n0 break, n0 intermissi0n." l0l.
and i said, " like br0 like sis laaaa.. jealous ah.."

and i gave him a pr0mise,
1." N0T T0 TALK M0RE DEN 20 W0RDS, UNLESS NEED T0 ELAB0RATE"
and 2nd pr0mise was d0ne in west mall, b4 buying tv, c0s he said, " dun hv t00 much trust 0n me, c0s, i tend t0 disapp0int u.
" 2. n0t t0 hv t00 much trust 0n him..

s0 wadever he said aft the pr0mise,
even wen he said, " i g0 toilet "
i said, " i dun trust u. wait i f0ll0w u. "
we l0ve teasing each 0ther!
weeeeeeeeeee

when he gets married, it'll be a wh0le different st0ry.
im scared. :(

m0re pics t0 c0me fr0m Zakiyah!!

2009-07-03T23:14:00.002+08:00

Tdy late aftern00n, i went t0 fetch Aziz fr0m sch00l. As usual he'll play at the playgr0und, v0id deck till 6pm (f0r an hr) den we'll g0 YT t0 grab s0mething small and c0me h0me.

it was super h0t tdy. the kids wh0 were playing at the playgrnd, suddenly, by g0d's grace went under the blk t0 play. they were s0 f0rtunate. u n0e why, c0s sec0nds aft the kids ran t0 the v0id deck, a b0y was thr0wing CDs 0ut 0f the wind0w,

Me, and an0ther pregnant lady were sh0uting and p0inting t0wards the wind0w, while a chinese t0m b0yish m0m l00ked. she sh0wed n0 sense 0f c0ncerned sia.

and anyway, arnd 8-15 CDs dr0pped. it was like, raining CDs. it was s0 scary. and they were dr0pped directly where the kids were playing and running abt, FEW SECONDS AGO.

i st00d up fr0m the bench i was sitting, and m0ved away, and 0ne CD dr0pped exactly at the place i sat. i was like 0MG.

the kids? they were screaming and laughing and playing. totally oblivious 0f wad was happening.

i called m0m t0 c0mplain and she called the t0wn c0uncil while i called the POLICE.

i called the POLICE at 4.56pm, and guess wad time they came? 5.40pm. VERY FAST INDEED. They wld hv their 0wn reas0ns.

Me and the 2 parents, kept l00king at the window 0f the ACCUSED!! We saw curtains m0ving. It was s0 fun u n0e.. den few mins ltr, 0ne b0y ar0und 15, 16 yrs 0ld he c0me t0wards me.

and said,

HE "errmm.. jus nw gt s0me0ne throw things rite............"
ME " Yea why, wad u want?"
HE " err.. tat 0ne err.. i asked my fren t0 throw the CD away, den i went t0ilet, den he thr0w d0wn......"
ME " what if the CD hurt the kids playing here. are u gonna play f0r it.. anyway, i've called the POLICE, anything u answer them..
HE " ah.. POLICE ah? hor hor.. okok.. sorry ah... jus nw 0ne lady come and tell us not to do it.."
ME " what lady?"
HE " dun0 ah, g0t 0ne lady.."
ME " ya wadever, POLICE is 0n the way, u answer dem k?"
HE " oh.. s0rry h0r.."
ME " yea yea"

whoaaaah steady ah..

and yea, Aziz refuse to go h0me. even I said, we g0ing 0ut with B0yy..
and jus den POLICE came. 0ne chinese and 0ne malay.

the chinese is the NS fella. and Malay is the Inspector. both looked super young.

the Malay guy, (f0rg0t his name) he was d0ing the t0king. he asked f0r my IC, Address, c0ntact. den i p0inted 0ut the fl00r and they 2 went.

den i g0t a call. unkn0wn no. i was t0king t0 B0yy, rep0rting the interesting news.

the Malay inspector asked me on the f0ne, are we at the right fl00r. i was like, HUH WAD? den he said, l00k up. i l00ked and i c0unted the fl00r and said, yaya u're! he said thx and hang up. i was like.. -.-

den i and aziz went yt, trnsf m0ney t0 B0yy, b0ught small c0ke, and he cycled and i was walking beside him..

went t0 a sh0p near my hse, t0 buy bread, same unkn0wn call. i was like, this inspector t00 free ah..

he said, " Ms Nazirah, i 0redi t00k the statement fr0m the accuse, i need t0 tk it fr0m u t00. s0, can i meet u s0mewhere? i was like, huh meet me s0mewhere.. hell0, am i ur fren 0r gf? t0k to me until like tt. l0l. i said, " ah.. im near my place oredi. hw ah.." den he said "wait ah.." he t0ked t0 the 0ther guy den he said, " 0k, we'll c0me t0 ur place in few mins time." i said, "oh.. ok, im g0ing out s00n, pls come fast." he said ok

i sent Aziz up to the fl00r, t0ld him t0 bathe n get ready, and went d0wn n waited at the v0id deck..

waited..........

waited.........

anddddd...

waited............

30mins leh.. he nv c0me.. B0yy oredi finish w0rk. and he was waiting in his w0rk place.. he wasnt angry.. :)

i called h0me, asked 2nd br0, wh0 was a NS P0liceman, i asked why like tt.. very l0ng.. he said police have t0 tk statement, d0 report and ur statement, u shldnt hv left the place.. i was like, wth.. he said, u g0t the n0. rite, call n tell him. its n0t his pers0nal n0. its the company's no.

i was like.. upset? L0L!!!!!

i called the guy and intro myself and said, i g0t t0 leave nw, he said, s0rry s0rry, im still in the accused hse n i'll send my c0lleague t0 get the statement? s0rry.. "

i said 0k. i went h0me, washed up, spray perfume here n there. l0l.

m0m and aziz were ready, s0 we went d0wn t0gether.. few mins ltr, 2 diff guys came. 0ne was a staff sgt an0ther 0ne jus a sgt. sgt 0ne is the NS guy. s0 clearly seen in their face and the way they handled this case.

the ssgt guy was superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr tall.. and he was super friendly t00..

he asked me, d0 i want t0 pursue this matter, bring him t0 c0urt n etc, 0r 4give him n etc.

i was like, eh n0 la.. hes still y0ung, jus 4give him.. den they t00k my statement, actually........

i 0nli said 4give him n n0t pursue the matter. the rest 0f the w0rds were given by the ssgt n sgt.

"i saw s0methings dropping....... i wish t0 forgive him........ still young................ he was rem0rseful...... blah blah blah"

wahh.. at least 150 w0rds. SERIOUS.

sgt was writing while the ssgt was telling him wad t0 write and was 0s0 t0king t0 me.. m0st are like me, d0wan the accuse t0 hv a black mark, warning and tts it.. s0me wants t0 pursue, due t0 the c0ncern 0f the public.

den i said, yea.. nw thr0w CD, next time might thr0w smth bigger, and he went "yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh u're riggggggggggght!" he was super hyper. -.-

SSGT said, tt b0y is arrested by the malay inspect0r, i was like huh why? He said, we've t0 bring him t0 the stati0n and "threaten" him, but w0nt tell him tt i gave him a 2nd chance. really tell him wad he did was wrong, so tt he w0nt dare t0 d0 it again and etc.

wen he said, u wanna give him a chance, i was thinking, "oh g0d, tt b0y's life is in my hands" P00r thing la, he came d0wn with tt pathetic l00k and said s0rry.. and he g0t arrested s0mem0re. i dun0 if he g0t 0r the guy wh0 threw it d0wn.. but i dun0 if b0th the same ppl 0r nt..

s0 anyway, SSGT said, they w0nt c0ntact me and thanks al0t f0r the c0ncern.

SSGT and i were having a gd c0nversati0n, laughing and sharing opinion, like i n0e him.

aft they left, we walked t0wards the stati0n and m0m asked, " u n0t scared t0king like tt t0 dem ah," i said, "they 0s0 human rite?"

den we made fun abt s0mething else and t00k the train, we bullied Aziz. B0yy was waiting at Ti0ng Bahru..

den we walked everywhere, finding f0r

Blk 111 Jalan Bukit Merah..

Redhill, Tiong Bahru, Henders0n, Bukit Merah, is m0m's childh00d place and she rmbs everything like yday.

we went t0 see the Stall, B0yy intended t0 buy, and discussed with the 0wner and its kinda cheap. $2k

aft everything, B0yy c0mplained t0 my m0m, "Maaaaa hungryyyyy" den m0m asked me, g0 where eat, i said ABC market!!!! (Bricksworth Market)

the fam0us chicken rice stall was cl0sed. dun0 why. and the stall beside was f0r rent, m0m t0ld me t0 call n ask.

full stall is 2.5k. half the stall is 1.5k. m0m was like, 0k wad, s0mem0re near main r0ad, can see the stall clearly..

and tmr, b0yy and i g0nna t0k t0 the 0wner at 7.30pm. m0m g0ing JB with dad n aziz. s0 shes n0t c0ming, she asked me t0 g0.

den we went t0 the beside c0ffee sh0p and whacked dinner.

B0yy was ch00sing all my fav, and i end up ch00sing his fav. gundu.

Aziz : Nasi Ayam Penyet
B0yy : Rice with prawn sambal
ME : Rice with s0t0ng sambal
Tahu g0reng, Satay, Kang K0ng Sambal and Stringray BBQ Sambal
M0m : Rice t0 eat with the fish n veg

den we 0rdered drinks at the last,
Aziz and m0m : 1 pineapple juice
me : sugarcane with lem0n
B0yy: c0ke, den he saw me carrying back pineapple n sugarcane 1st, he said, ehhhh.. i 0s0 wan sugarcane.

-.-

den made the uncle change and paid exta 40 cents.

aft drinking, we went walked d0wn abit, disgest. hehe. den t00k taxi.

the taxi driver was super s0ft la.. he t0king as if, if he t0ks l0uder, his thr0at will bleed. l0l. which was gd la, c0s we all were t0king super l0udly.. b0yy dr0pped 0ff near clementi mrt. and we z0000000000med back h0me. dad was checking mail wen we alighted. jus in time. hehe.

den came h0me, washed up, chatted with m0m n dad n laughed al0t. elder br0 came and j0ined us..

Br0's graduating 0n Wednesday!! weeeeeee! 1st Class h0n0rs.. all are g0ing! yea baby yeaaaaa!
finally hes ending his sch00l life and n0w wrking!

hes a c0ntract teacher at BB sec sch. s00n his NIE training will start..

B0yy jus called. hes g0nna slp!

Tmr early m0rning, i gtg t0 the 1st sh0p we went tdy, t0 see hws the cr0wd and judge if the stall will run n hv pr0fits. m0m said, it'll. c0s, the market is right beside. s0 aft marketing, ppl will c0me f0r breakfast, and theres n0 ind muslim stall there at all.. Chinese, malay and indian fav0urs Prata al0t.

den fr0m there, i'll tk a direct bus t0 jur0ng and hv tuiti0n there at 10am - 11.30am.. den g0 Bed0k f0r Nadhirah's tuiti0n at 1pm-3pm den head back h0me. den meet B0yy again at 6 plus t0 see the 0wner 0f an0ther sh0p..

B0yy's ready with m0ney and w0rkers, all he needs is a stall t0 get it started.

Allah's Great. HE'll guide him.. (:

0k tts all.. nites!!!

2009-07-03T23:11:00.001+08:00

Happy 21st Birthday to Rahmatul Nisha!!!

May G0d Bless u always dearieeeeeee!

2009-07-03T01:17:00.001+08:00

M0re pics t0 c0me!!!

2009-07-03T01:07:00.006+08:00

2009-07-03T00:45:00.015+08:00

2009-06-28T23:18:00.002+08:00

Dedication By Zakima in FB!

Happy Birthday Naseera!

Today at 10:03pm

It feels as though she just turned 20...

With the FAST FAST preparation by GaniBhai...

Meeting up early...Collecting the Food..

Heading to akka house..

Doing the deco..

Buying the Drinks..

Heated moment came when she was about to arrive && we hide inside the room..

!!!! SUPRISE !!!!!!

She sees everyone!

the PARTY started then..

Today, after a year, she is 21!

My God! NASEERA!

hahahah!!

Though it was a hassle and preppy work for ur bdae, i hope u still enjoyed ur day with ur loved ones who came for the party...The amount of joy in seeing you preparing for UR 21st is beyond words babe... I enjoyed && am honored to be the one who stood by you for all your preparations && even then... I hope you would have forgo the short comings that might happen && enjoyed the day...

The day turned out better dan expected && I HAD GREAT JOY TOO!!

My wish for you is to be happy and smiling as i saw you today, always..

Whatever may happen let it be.. With me by ur side, i will make sure it turns out good for ya.

I was very touched when Amma called me in for the family photo, saying i was one of your family member.. Seriously, No one does that. I really loved doing your bdae last yr && this year.

I wish to do more n more bdae surprises for you && everyone.

I love you always, Princess Naz ( My evil twin) :))

Allah bless u.

2009-06-28T23:16:00.000+08:00

the party turned out weeeellll!! but it ended fast. hahaha!!

thanks everyone for popping byyyyyyyy! love u all!

2009-06-28T11:38:00.002+08:00

its 11.40am.

haha.. im excited..

im gonna be dressed up.. none of my frens seen me like this b4.. even B0yy..

for Br0 wedding edi he said i look pretty, i wonder wads he gonna say today..

hahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!! i love all of u!!

m0ms n sis in law, busy cooking.. i and uncle n aziz cleaned the hse.. nw, resting.. waiting for shamz n nisha to come..and rahima is als0 missing.. fat gal.. and im eagerly waiting for 5pm. l0l..

its like my wedding siiiiiiiaaaa..

21st edi like this.. den wedding?

0MG 0MG 0MG 0MG

2009-06-27T22:40:00.002+08:00

Tmr's the day im waiting for!

Tdy did marketing with mommy love. den Zakiyah met us at yew tee.. i did threading.. den we headed back home.. Rahima was at home. she spoiled my 2nd bro's PSP! haha

zakiyah started doing bit of the deco..
rahima did the passing parcel game..
i was burning songs..

aft tt, we tried tying my hairs in diff styles.. finally agreed with the 80s style. haha

rahima left at 5plus pm.

Zakiyah carried on experimenting. den i tried on the jewels and showed mom n sis in law.. and i realli look like a bride. gosh..

den.. watched tv for awhile.. and zakima left at 8pm.

sent her off, came home and did jelly. orange, green and red. and ice jelly's jelly..

den now resting.. im super excited. i duno why :)

im gonna be preeeeeeetttttttyyyyyyyy...

2009-06-27T00:29:00.002+08:00

Guest List
(Please tag me if ur name is missing :)

B0yy
Abdul Br0
Vin0d
Hasir
Zakiyah
Selvi Sis
Kayathrie
Nisha
Sundaree
Nisha
Shamutha
Evelyn
Christy
Yun Ni
Herwan
Edwin
Ai Li
Vicki
Swee Ling
Eezah
Shila
Muhammad
Raihanie
Aisyah
Rahima
Family

Ar0und 30 peeps. m0re den enuff f0r me (:

PS: N0 presents below $50. Friendship will be renew for few years in return.

hahaa!

2009-06-27T00:19:00.002+08:00

u noe wad.. 3 more days for my 21st! and 2 more days for the celebration! weeeeeeeee!

i cant waiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

went clementi with Boyy.. see a food stall.. hes gonna rent 0ne!

and i'll be the incharge! weeeee!

den we went to the coffee at clementi to eat and we went back home...

Fat b0yy was singing s0ngs t0 impress me. dun0 why 0s0..

den he started practising his s0ngs f0r the auditi0n.. im s0 excited f0r him!! hehe!

2009-06-26T23:34:00.002+08:00

May Allah have mercy on him..

AFP - Saturday, June 27

LOS ANGELES (AFP) - - Michael Jackson is dead after suffering a cardiac arrest, sending shockwaves sweeping across the world and tributes pouring in Friday for the tortured music icon revered as the "King of Pop."

Jackson, 50, collapsed at his rented mansion in the exclusive Los Angeles neighbourhood of Holmby Hills and was rushed to hospital by paramedics before being pronounced dead at 2:26 pm (2126 GMT) on Thursday.

One of the most influential figures in pop history whose career included the highest-selling album of all-time, "Thriller," Jackson had been preparing for a concert comeback in London next month he had dubbed "the final curtain."

News of his death triggered an outpouring of grief as shocked celebrities, foreign governments and devoted fans from Beijing to Beverly Hills paid tribute to the troubled star.

Lieutenant Fred Corral, a spokesman for the Los Angeles County Coroner's office, said an autopsy would likely be carried out on Friday and would not speculate on the exact cause of death.

Jackson's brother Jermaine, the family's official spokesman, later revealed physicians had battled for more than an hour to revive the star after his arrival at the UCLA Medical Centre before he was pronounced dead.

"Our family requests that the media please respect our privacy during this tough time," Jermaine Jackson said. "May Allah be with you, Michael, always."

As the sun began to sink over Los Angeles, a coroner's office helicopter bearing Jackson's body took off from the UCLA Medical Centre, where hundreds of media and fans had gathered throughout the day.

Meanwhile police motorcycle riders surrounded Jackson's gated mansion as crowds of tourists and fans congregated.

Pop diva Madonna was among dozens of celebrities who struggled to cope. "I can't stop crying over the sad news," the singer said in a statement. "The world has lost one of the greats, but his music will live on forever!"

The star's first wife Lisa Marie Presley, the daughter of Elvis Presley, said his death had left her speechless.

"I am so very sad and confused with every emotion possible. I am heartbroken for his children, who I know were everything to him, and for his family," Presley told MTV News in a statement.

Political figures also paid their tributes.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger lamented the loss of "one of the most influential and iconic figures in the music industry."

British Foreign Secretary David Miliband also posted his thoughts on micro-blogging site Twitter. "Never has one soared so high and yet dived so low. RIP Michael," Miliband wrote.

But the most visible emotion came in spontaneous gatherings of fans here and across the world.

In Los Angeles Lana Brown, a 49-year-old tourist from Dallas, broke down in tears as she digested the news. "I can't believe we might have lost the best entertainer this world has ever seen," she told AFP.

In New York's Times Square, Chantal de Roy van Zuydewijn watched a giant screen broadcasting the news of Jackson's death with tears running down her cheeks.

"He is a legend. He is a genius," said the 28-year-old Dutch tourist, who had a ticket to the pop legend's scheduled comeback tour in July.

Jackson's death came as the singer prepared to make a keenly anticipated concert comeback in London, his first series of shows in more than a decade.

Jackson family attorney Brian Oxman said he had harboured concerns over the singer's condition, revealing that he had been taking prescription medication as he prepared for his comeback.

Oxman compared Jackson's fate to the overdose death of Playboy centerfold Anna-Nicole Smith, voicing concern over "enablers" in his entourage.

"The people who have surrounded him have been enabling him... if you think that the case of Anna-Nicole Smith was an abuse, it was nothing to what we have seen in Michael Jackson's life," Oxman told CNN.

While Jackson ruled the charts and dazzled audiences with electric dance moves like the backwards "moonwalk" in the 1980s, his once-stellar career was overshadowed by his colourful public behaviour, his startling physical transformation and multiple allegations of child abuse.

He lived as a virtual recluse following his 2005 acquittal on charges including child molestation and plotting to kidnap his young accuser.

Despite his acquittal, the trial was a body blow from which the pop music superstar, whonamed his ranch after Peter Pan's "Neverland" of perpetual childhood and furnished it with Disney-inspired rides, struggled to recover.

Born on August 29, 1958, Jackson made his show business debut with four of his elder brothers in the Jackson Five pop group, and went on to lead the stage clan with a piping soprano and dazzling dance moves.

In 1979, Quincy Jones produced Jackson's first solo album for Epic, "Off the Wall," a huge disco-oriented success that sold 10 million copies.

They teamed up again in 1982 for what would be Jackson's breakthrough album as a composer and co-producer, "Thriller," which became the top-selling album of all time, with sales exceeding 41 million.

Jones reacted with shock after being informed of Jackson's death Thursday.

"I'm absolutely devastated at this news," he said. "I just don't have the words. Divinity brought our souls together and allowed us to do what we could do through the '80s," Jones said.

Tommy Mottola, the former head of Sony Music who released Jackson's records for 16 years, said the singer had a place in the pantheon of American music icons, alongside Elvis and Frank Sinatra.

"It's one of the greatest losses," Mottola told the Los Angeles Times.

Crowds continued to throng near the UCLA Medical Centre and Jackson's home late Thursday, while street vendors selling hastily designed commemorative T-shirts for 25 dollars sought to cash in.

Taken From Yahoo.

2009-06-25T19:55:00.000+08:00

bday's nearing!!!!! yippppppppee

2009-06-25T01:05:00.004+08:00

Well tdy's Shila's Bday!!

T0 her:

Friends will come and friends will go,
The seasons change and it will show,,
I will age and so will you,,
But our friendship stays, strong and true.,

Happy Birthday, my friend

It's so good to know someone special, who shares,,
My secrets, my laughter, my dreams and my cares,,
Someone through good times and bad, when there's tears,,
It's so good to know you, my friend through the years,

I'm blessed with an angel,
Like heaven might send,
And I call her (Shila),
My angel and friend,

Happy birthday to a special friend!
Although I haven't known you many years,
Perhaps because you've dried so many tears,
Pleasure reigns as I these greetings send.
Your happiness should last till all things end!

Because you've been so sweet and understanding--
In toughest times you've made me laugh and smile--
Rejoice in your own specialness awhile:
This I'm not requesting but demanding!
How else to make yourself the celebration,
Doing what does not come naturally?
Always your concern has been for me,
Yet now you must endure my adoration!

Happy birthday to a special friend.
All my love to you this precious day!
Part of me knows just what I should say;
Part perhaps some deeper word would send.
You're the strand on which I silent write
Before my dreams are swept far out to sea.
In you there's room to canter and run free,
Restoring my lost sense of space and light.
To me you are a place where I can stay,
Hanging out to watch the rush of time,
Drawing in the sand a lazy line
Along which I can go my own sweet way.
You are my sun and shade, my bread and green tea.

Birthdays are an annual excuse,
A way of saying things we ought to say.
Relatively few can sing their love
Unless they do it on some special day.
Hearts are shy, and words of little use.

But now I want to tell you that I love you,
Open up my heart and say the things
Siblings seldom say to one another
'Cause of the embarrassment it brings.
However long we live, I'll be with you.

2009-06-20T22:09:00.002+08:00

2009-06-20T00:18:00.003+08:00

Vasantham Star 2009 Auditions

Vasantham Star 2009 returns with a bang!

The most anticipated competition series is back to wow audiences!

The search for the next big star on Vasantham
is here again for it’s 3rd season!

A competition that guarantees instant stardom for the winner.

"Live The Life Of A Vasantham Star"
That’s what this year’s Vasantham Star stands to gain.

Vasantham Star sets to unearth talented youths and transform them to stars. It is renowned as a platform for artistes to be discovered within the Indian Community in Singapore. The previous winners of Vasantham Stars, Mohd Shabir and Ebi Shankara, have now become household names in the Indian community. Since their victories, both Shabir and Ebi have been part of high profile mainstream events like the National Day Parade and President’s Star Charity.

You can now live the life of a Vasantham Star too! Come down for the Auditions at:

Venue: Caldecott Broadcast Centre, MediaCorp, Andrew Rd
Dates: 4th & 5th of July 2009
Time: 10am to 5pm

What we are looking for – Not only a good singer but also someone who can perform for television. The Vasantham Star must be able to sing well and at the same time have that television charisma and personality.

Rules & Regulations for the Auditions:

1. The Vasantham Star auditions will be held at Caldecott Broadcast Centre, MediaCorp.
Participants need to be present at the MediaCorp reception.

2. Participants can come on either one of the 2 days, anytime between 10am to 5pm.

3. Participants have to practice a minimum of 3 songs fully.

4. Participants are required to be well dressed. The Management reserves the right not to allow those
inappropriately dressed for the auditions. So remember, Dress Like A Star.

5. The competition is open to all Singapore citizens and Singapore permanent residents only.
All particpants are reqired to bring along their identification cards / documents.

6. Participants entering the competition must be 18 years and above.

7. Participants who belonged to the top 10 finalists for Vasantham Star 2005 & 2007
are not eligible to participate again.

noe wad?

Boyy joining Vasantham Star!!! He has a great voice and singing talent! omg im growing more excited as the audition dates are nearing!!

2days ago, he practiced his singing with me under a blk in JW. duh.. i didnt sing, jus commented and encouraged him..

Lack of Confi!

but im still proud of him!!

aft practising, he kneeled infront of me, i was seated on the stone stool, he grabbed my head with this 2 huge palms, looked into my eyes, ( i tot he was going to kiss me.. hahaha!!! well i was waiting.. but) he said, "Ma, Be with me all the way.. not until they kick me out, until i die.. will u promise me that.. u're the reason for who i am now.. but dun leave.. i always need u by myself.. and.. u bring me gd luck.."

i stared at him aft he said the last sentence.. and we starting pinching and running around and fighting and den.. hugging. hahahaaaaaaaa.. gundus..

tdy, met up with zakiyah, who wanted to hear Boyy practise. we ate at ENAQ (nice foooood) den headed off to pract. meanwhile Zakiyah had probs.. and we got too engross in tt.. and left the place, as soon as she was ok.

Zakiyah -> its not ur fault. the day wasnt spoilt. be happy.

while walking back to the bus stop, Boyy imitated my facial expression wen i tried to hold back my tears.. and i pinched him and he pinched me back and we fought and i ran back to zakiyah.. and in the middle of the road, cars going opposite direction, we still can pinch n hit each other.. omg..

crazy.

i stopped disturbing him wen he accidently punched my stomach. and i was so grouchy aft tt.. told him i dowan to tok to him and etc.

but told him ltr on, tt cos of the pain.. he understood. he always does.

cheered zakiyah up by giving her the superman shirt and anna sui wallet, i brought in KL.

*speaking of KL hehe.. yet to upload bro's bday, and KL trip pics.*

and she was seen smiling all the way.. no more sad/hurt/ or other stupid feelings
:)

met up with Darshini.. her fren. and she was so bubbly.. they 2 were engrossed over smth.. while i was busy continueing the fight with Boyy.. but in sms. haha..

upon reaching YT, mom called. rushed back home.

Zakiyah was last seen happy with Shini.

2009-06-19T23:51:00.002+08:00

of all the ppl.. why her.. why does she has to be sad? why must she cry infront of me.. i tried my very best to hold MY tears..

i kept quiet. i looked at Boyy, who knew i was trying my best not to cry.. he tried comforting her.. but to no avail.. he was lost. she isnt someone hes closed to.. if its me, tts a diff story. shes closer to ME. but.. i at tt point, didnt noe hw to comfort her.. unless she didnt tear.. omg.. i felt very bad..

i just cant take all the anger and intense hate he is causing me to feel. HE has told my friend that no-one else will ever love her, that any other boy would dump her within a day and generally degrades her. Now to me thats a classic abusive relationship starting. In every film or anything on TV ive seen with an abusive relationship it all starts mentally with that. And ive read it on the net too, all of which i know isnt concrete evidence but hewy its a pretty good sign right?

*TOO DRAMATIC?*

i mean i cant take this! what can i do? i actually feel like killing him, literally, i think of him gargling on his blood as he chokes on it and dies...

argh..

she deserves more den this. haiz

Ex-Boyfriends Quotes Dilemma

2009-06-19T23:41:00.002+08:00

Many ex-boyfriends quotes may be had by questioning your friends. Others use family, loved ones, by reading magazines, books, watching movies or visiting online websites catering to breaking up with boyfriends or lovers.However we should ask ourselves what are the motives involved in looking for these quotes? Is it guilt, fantasy, nostalgia or plain old can't let go? Because before looking for ex-boyfriend quotes find out the reason and be clear about why that person is an ex.As I said previously before anything else, examine the reason. A lot of the time it might be a way of living in the past and not facing up to reality and getting on with your life.Sometimes it may be good to ask yourself some question, was the ex-boyfriend the type to say I love you? Is that a quote you heard often? Did it mean something when he said it? Most of the time, when we hear those three words and see it quoted somewhere the memories come flooding back.I ask all the time, what's the point. Are we so consumed with thoughts of our ex-boyfriends, that any poem or quote we can tie to that person affects our whole being? Life is short and shouldn't be spent living in the past, love quotes tend to put us in places of security, totally ignoring the reality that exist. I was fond of saying, "You never miss the water till the well run dry." This may not qualify as an ex-boyfriend quote but as relationships go, it means that when you have someone or something and takes him/ her/ it for granted, when that person or thing is gone you then realize how much you miss them.Its ironic how sometimes these quotes set you thinking and you realize how much you miss your ex-boyfriend but pride and stubbornness is keeping you from calling him up and giving the relationship another try. I always say go for it what is there to lose, you are already in misery. All of the ex-boyfriends quotes in the world wouldn't bring you out of the miserable state you are in. It surely wouldn't hurt to at least try to get that aspect of your life straightened out, once and for all. Then move on.Strive on many occasions wherever possible to get out and about.Don't sit at home moping and wasting your life away pining for something that possibly will never return. You owe it to yourself to live for you, for the moment and for the future.Not that I am advocating that those little quotes don't mean anything but it helps to get over your ex-boyfriend and move on with your life.Occasionally, the desire maybe to get your ex-boyfriend back cause you still love him and there are some eBooks and other books out there which show you how and it wouldn't hurt to read one or two if its your desire. You may find some pretty good quotes in them. It certainly couldn't be worse than how you are feeling.

2009-06-08T17:55:00.002+08:00

The Day After Tomorrow, Me Family And Me, Will Be Going Kuala Lumpur. From there, We're Going Shopping @ KL, Genting Highlands, Cameron Highlands and... I Think That's About It!

And I Cant Wait.. (:

Theres pics to upload. oh my.. im so lazy..

2009-06-05T16:35:00.002+08:00

theres more pics to upload which taken in graduation day..

but.. im jus too lazy. grr..

gonna have ratib (prayers) today, mom's mom (granny's) death anniversary,

She Died On 4 June 1981.

To Late Granny Fathima Nachiya,

I never knew you..
You are my grandmother.
I get mad at God,
For not giving me a chance
To know you.
You died SEVEN years,
Before I was born.
It breaks my heart
Every time I think
That I will never get
The chance to know you.
I look at your picture that Mom keeps in her purse,
Almost everyday.

I wonder if I have your eyes.
I wonder if I have your laugh.
I wonder if I have your smile.
I wonder if I have your nose.
I wonder if I have anything of you.
I guess I will never know
I guess I will never get to see you.

Death is the most tragic thing in life
Death is hard on me now than I was younger.
Death is what I have inside
Thinking of everyone that I have lost.
Death is forever
Death is longer than an eternity
Death is permanent
Death is a scar that never goes away.
Death is what I feel everyday
Death is what has to be.
Death is what is happening everyday.
Death is what no one knows for sure.
Death is what everyone goes through.
Death is the reason why I am the way I am
Death is what I fear…

"And nothing can we call our own but death
And that small model of the barren earth
Which serves as paste and cover to our bones.
For God's sake, let us sit upon the ground
And tell sad stories of the death of kings." W. Shakespeare

"And what the dead had no speech for, when living,
They can tell you, being dead: the communication
Of the dead is tongued with fire beyond the language of the living." T.S. Eliot

"While man is growing, life is in decrease;And cradles rock us nearer to the tomb.Our birth is nothing but our death begun." Edward Young

I noe u wont be reading this.. but.. jus felt like writing.. maybe if u were here, i wldnt hv my childhood so ruined.

Dad's mom is also deceased, though grandpa married another woman, both still alive..

dad n mom always said, their moms were soft spoken and super good mothers. haiz..

God didnt give me tt privilege..

2009-06-03T18:45:00.004+08:00

Continuation : Aftermath of Graduation Day..

2009-05-26T16:59:00.004+08:00

More to come!!